Friday, November 5, 2010

Winter driving advice


With winter approaching here is advice for driving in icy conditions

WOMEN

1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear.
2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears.
3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere.
4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was.

MEN

1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice.
2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace.
3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph.
4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix.
5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo.
6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions.
7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to kerbs/bollards/bystanders.

9 comments:

cartermagna said...

Guilty, guilty and guilty as charged. Love it :o)

microdave said...

Or drive a knackered old Panda 4X4 (which had a previous life in your neck of the woods), pull up lever next to the handbrake, and continue as normal.....

Mr. Mxyzptlk said...

Rab

Dont worry we will sue the Bastards

Work related road safety

Employer’s responsibilities

Everyone who uses the public highway must comply with road traffic legislation which is managed by the Department for Transport (DfT). This covers aspects as diverse as requirements, for vehicles to be regularly examined for road worthiness through to the application of speed limits. Both the Police and the Vehicle and Operator Services Agency (VOSA) maintain a roadside presence and take the lead on the enforcement of this legislation. The Health and Safety Executive supports and works closely with the DfT, the Police, VOSA and other government and industry stakeholders to improve standards on the road.

Managing the risks to employees who drive at work requires more than just compliance with road traffic legislation.

The Health and Safety at Work etc Act 1974 requires employers to take appropriate steps to ensure the health and safety of their employees and others who may be affected by their activities when at work. This includes the time when they are driving, or riding at work, whether this is in a company or hired vehicle, or in the employees own vehicle.

There will always be risks associated with driving. Although these cannot be completely controlled an employer has a responsibility to take all reasonable steps to manage these risks down to as low a level as reasonably possible in the same way as they would in the workplace.


http://www.hse.gov.uk/roadsafety/index.htm


British and European Standards

Slip resistance properties of flooring materials and footwear are covered by various standards with Europe. Below is a brief guide to the most common ones.
BS7976

Describes the specification, operation and calibration of the Pendulum test, used for assessment of floor surface slipperiness under both dry and contaminated conditions. The results are reported as Pendulum Test Value or Slip Resistance Value and are approximately 100 times the coefficient of friction. The Pendulum test is used routinely by the Health & Safety Laboratory on behalf of HSE.
DIN51130

Laboratory based ramp test, using cleated safety boots and motor oil contamination. Results are reported as an R value, on a scale from R9 to R13, with R9 being the least slip resistant. Floors which perform well in the test do not necessarily perform well with water contamination.
DIN51097

Laboratory based ramp test, using barefoot operators with soapy water as the contaminant. Results are reported as Class A, B or C, with A being the least slip resistant. Floors which perform well in the test do not necessarily perform well with clean water contamination.
EN13845

Laboratory based ramp test specifically for resilient floor coverings with enhanced slip resistance. The test uses standardised footwear and soapy water contamination. Floors which perform well in the test do not necessarily perform well with clean water contamination.
EN13287

Laboratory based mechanical slip resistance test for safety / occupational footwear. Uses several surfaces and contaminants to assess footwear. The test is not thought to differentiate between footwear with differing levels of slip resistance under some test conditions, and so is of limited use in selecting slip resistant shoes for a particular environment.

For further information on slip resistance tests, see HSE information sheet: Assessing the slip resistance of flooring [PDF 321kb][4].

http://www.hse.gov.uk/slips/law.htm

Caratacus said...

md - or, in my case, pull up handbrake and continue as normal. (I was but a poor boy on pre-stretched cables you see...)

Mark Wadsworth said...

If and when it's very snowy, just accept the inevitable and take the bus or train.

It's a good idea to join the AA before you do this, as they charge £80 to sign up to the package that includes "recharging your battery that went completely dead in the month of below freezing conditions" if you need it done there and then, HomeStart or something like that, it's called.

Hayley said...

LOL dear hubby you just come under point number 7 under the MEN and that's all the time...nowt to do wi the weather :)

Hayley said...

ps, get your arse over to my blog and do a post seein we're in the run up to our sunshine warrior's 1st birthdayand you've only ever wrote 1 tut :)
oh and welcome back? LOL

The Cowboy Online said...

If you left off parts 5 to 7 for the guys it would be spot on.

banned said...

Excellent advice Rab, especially the blokes stuff which I'll be including in my campaign to "Stop Pandering to Pedestrians".