Thursday, September 2, 2010

45p a unit


Retailers north of the border should stock up...


So, our nanny has announced that the minimum price per unit for the demon drink up here is to be 45p per unit.

If the fuckwits that inhabit Holyrood think that this measure, (pun intended), will have any effect on those that 'over enjoy' a wee tipple, they must be steaming themselves.

I predict,

crime will increase

thousands of jobs will be lost

smuggling will explode

fake booze will blind hundreds

Carlisle and Berwick Upon Tweed councils will receive planning applications for massive booze warehouses like the ones seen at Calais. The majority of the Scottish population is less than two hours drive away from either.

supermarkets will start stocking home brew kits

those who cannot get a hold of cheap booze will turn to other means to get off their faces. (Hint, look at the pic).


So, Scottish Government. Epic Fail.


11 comments:

Sam Duncan said...

Has nobody told them it's illegal?

RantinRab said...

Maybe we're doing what every other country in the EU does. Pick and choose which 'rules' to follow.

Rightwinggit said...

Fermentation is natural..how does one ban nature?

Demetrius said...

Your analysis is along the right lines. There was a time years ago when many fled Scotland because of the power and influence of the Temperance Organisations. Could this repeat the experience?

F***W*T TW****R said...

Cunts, Fuckers, Tosspots and Fuckwits. Give them a Twat up alongside the head.

F***W*T TW****R said...

And it spoilt my wank!

Joe Public said...

But that is just the start Rab.

When their figures are carefully selected/manipulated to prove the Tax works, they'll add 50p to every portion of Glasgow Salad.

Jayce Kay said...

I rather fear you've hit the proverbial nail on the head in your list of predictions.

Maybe enjoying home brewing will be the way to go. At least you'll be able to spark up without someone pointing out its against the Law.

Chin-chin.

The Wasp said...

Don't forget we also have one of the smallest alcohol unit measures in the world even though all the countries adopt the same WHO 3-4 units per day for men.

Perfect for raising the maximum tax it seems.

Table here.

Dick Puddlecote said...

The prrof that this is a shite idea is the simple fact that the original plan was 40p and it has already been elevated to 45p.

Once installed, that's it. It's set in stone as another tax-raising power. 45p soon becomes 50p, then 60p, then it is a regular budgetary thing.

Income tax was only brought in to tackle the temporary problem of wars, remember?

Leg-iron said...

Homebrew at the ready.

I've already been excluded from pubs anyway. Being excluded from the booze aisles is not an issue any more.

Rumour has it that Man with a Van is looking at an Artic.