Thursday, September 2, 2010
How to succeed in business, by Tesco
Follow these handy tips in order to succeed in business, courtesy of Britain's favourite supermarket, Tescunt.
1) Set up a property development company.
2) Development company buys a struggling/failing town centre shopping parade/mall.
3) Ensure zero investment in shopping centre.
4) Ensure no leases are renewed for current tenants.
5) Evict current tenants for minor infringements on lease agreements.
6) Watch as shopping area rots away and blights the community it serves.
7) 'Purchase' the centre from the 'property development' company. (For the same amount as the development company paid). Announce plans for re-generation of the area with a new store.
8) Smile as you know the council is desperate for a knight in shining armour and all plans are passed with no problems.
9) Smile even more as local people and media praise Tesco.
10) When your cunning plan is discovered, ensure that you really don't give a flying fuck what people think.
Tesco, Every Little Helps.