Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Police box ticking exercise is launched.

On the left, a 'promotion fast-tracked' police superintendent. On the right, a proper police officer.

In the news today, Strathclyde Polis have announced a new initiative in their 'fight' against organised crime.

Deep within the bowels of the Pitt Street HQ in Glasgow a promotion chasing careerist announced to the world that Wanted posters will be the big new thing in crime fighting. Takes you back to the wild west and the old black and white cowboy movies.


In a bizarre twist of the concept the posters will not feature people who are at large and a threat to civilisation. They will feature those already caught and banged up in the big hoose. What's the bloody point of that then?

“We want to show young people that Serious and Organised Crime is not a glamorous career option but a ticket to jail."

Ah, I see. A message to the cheeeldren. (Box ticked). Of course. I'm sure they will listen to you in between murdering hookers and stealing cars on the playstation and watching gangsta rap on MTV. Yep, that'll work.

Right, we need some buzz words and straplines...

'Letting our communities flourish', yep, that sounds good let's have that.

'Divert, Disrupt, Deter, Detect', wow, fantastic. Have a promotion for coming up with that one.

(Box ticked)

Nearly there, can you guess what's missing?

Of course, 'multi agency partnerships'. Cue some diddy from a diddy council.

Mr David Mitchell, Head of Legal, Procurement and Regulatory Services for East Ayrshire Council, who will talk about 'deter' said:

“The implications of the ‘Letting Our Communities Flourish’ Strategy for local authorities and the communities which they serve are important. There are real opportunities to do more about serious organised crime which should flow from the implementation of the strategy, provided local authorities and other public sector bodies are fully prepared to embrace these, particularly within the context of procurement and licensing activity.”

(Box ticked)

Did you understand all that public sector speak? No, me neither.

That concludes the preparation for 'operation box tick and hopefully a promotion'.

Now for the press release.



Fidothedog said...

Operation wankspeak might be a better name for this latest waste of money.

microdave said...

"Crime is not a glamorous career option but a ticket to jail."

Or a ticket to a roof over your head, on these cold winter nights:


Joe Public said...

"....the posters will not feature people who are at large and a threat to civilisation."

'Cos that would breach their "Human Rights"

Argent said...

How long before the kids start collecting and trading these posters for their bedroom walls? Mebbe the police should also issue stickers and an album to stick them in. Our local police have had a set of Top Trumps made up of their own staff from one of the police stations, which they are handing out to kids to try an put across a police-are-nice-superheroes kind of message. I kid you not.