Monday, January 18, 2010

RantinRab - Piss Off Award

The genie in this bottle made me do it, honest Officer...

I am delighted to announce the winner of the first and probably the last RantinRab Piss Off You Twat(s) award, which is presented for telling it how it is.

As part of it's 'official Labour mouthpiece' obligations, the publicly funded and socialist hand wringing BBC in Scotland is tonight broadcasting a documentary entitled 'The Buckfast Code'.

It is, of course, an attack on one particular brand of 'wreck the hoose juice' which is consumed in vast quantities by the 'under-privileged' in Scotland. Obviously it is the fault of the manufacturers and distributors of Buckfast that the poor souls who indulge in their product go on to commit crime and violence within their communities.

Strathclyde Police have told the BBC that Buckie has been mentioned 3000 times in crime reports over the last three years and has been used as a chib (weapon) 114 times. Promotion chasing, shiny arsed trouser wearer, office hours only Superintendent Bob Hamilton says, "I think it is clear from the figures that there is an association there". No shit, Sherlock.

To paint Buckfast as the Bogieman is spectacularly missing the point. The clowns that are behind the documentary seem to think that if Buckie did not exist then the problem would not exist. This is nonsense. The consumers would move on to something else as the problem is a cultural and attitude one, not one of enforced consumption. It's almost as if they are trying to deflect the failure of countless initiatives to re-educate and change behaviour which has been deep rooted in Scotland for generations. Glasgow City Council were taken to court last year for 'advising' shops not to stock it.

There is also concern expressed by the medical world about the level of caffeine in the recipe. Neuroscientist Dr Steven Alexander tells the programme that a bottle of Buckie contains 281 milligrammes of caffeine - as much as eight cans of coke.

Anyway, to the award.

I present the Piss Off You Twat(s) award to the spokesman for Buckfast for the following'

“The ­people who commit crimes are the ones who have to take responsibility. It is completely wrong to blame the knife manufacturer if someone stabs someone. Why just attack Buckfast?”

When asked to consider reducing the caffeine levels in the recipe,

"Why should we? It's been there for over 80 years. Why should we change the recipe just to satisfy somebody's whim?"

And also when it was suggested that the Benedictine monks that manufacture the tonic wine in their Devon monastery are to blame for the effects of Buckie,

"Why should they accept responsibility? They're not up there pouring any of their Buckfast down somebody's throat. People take it by choice because they like it, because it's a good product".

Well said that man. People are responsible for their actions, society needs stops tarring them as victims and hold them to account properly.

Rab note - quotes are taken from online and printed versions of Evening Times and Metro Scotland. The Metro online version does not have the quotes which appear in today's printed version.


Wormit Steve said...

To cast the assertion of association shows the utter stupidity of the argument. What next? Will shell suits and ned style haircuts also be up for grabs? As I've said before, this is but one variable to a host of reasons why people may drink to excess. Without looking at the true root causes the only action you will get is symptom related reaction. If we look away from the problem we do not see all of the facts... if we close our eyes then we are blind to the obvious.

thelunaticarms said...

Kudos to the Buckfast Man.

I read the article on the Beeb this morning and laughed my head off. This is PURE advertisment gold for Buckfast. I never even heard of it before!

Being in Sarf London I now want one! Have they plans to expand down south???

RantinRab said...

I have never tasted it and don't plan to. Not my thing.

I'm sure somewhere down south will stock it. I read last week that 20,000 bottles are on there way to Australia to satisfy demand.

RantinRab said...

Steve, absolutely.

Toni said...

What about the alleged 47 bottles of vodka, (or equivalent), the average Scot drinks in a year. Like you say the Buckfast or the general availability of booze isn't the problem. I can get a drink anytime of the day in London if I want one badly enough and I am sure its the same in Glasgow. The reason people are drinking so much is what should be addressed. I am all for taking personal responsibility for my own actions but perhaps the government may have to take some responsibility for the social climate that encourages such consumption. Prohibition is not the answer and high pricing will be as successful as it is in Scandinavia. Increasing prices like the government has done with smokes is sadly almost inevitable. In the queue at the supermarket the other day, buying some grog, the women in front of may was charged Six pounds thirty for a packet of cigarettes - I never smoked but I was shocked at the cost. Then, later in Waterloo Station I watched the smokers having to cross the road to stand in a caged off piece of tarmac in the rain just to have a smoke. If this is the future for drinkers then I will be glad when the blue demons and pink elephants come to get me.

Captain Ranty said...

Maybe if we got the monks to switch the caffeine to valium everyone would calm the fuck down. Problem solved!

banned said...

Buckfast is made by the Monks at Buckfastleigh, just down the road from here but the local alcys prefer to drink "natch", supposedly Natural Cider which has seen less apples and has more chemicals in it than a camels arse.

Barking Spider said...

Saw this bansturbator shite on BBC earlier today, Rab, what a load of bollocks, besides, as you say, they'll just move on to something else like Mundy's, the winos' preferred tipple!

buckie dearer than chardonnay said...

It tends to 'scotch' the myth that a minimum pricing level per unit of alcohol will reduce binge drinking.
Buckfast is £6.50 in my local co op so is at the higher scale of alcohol prices. It's the most popular drink for neds around here and it's price wouldn't be affected by the minimum pricing of 40p per unit of alcohol. In fact it's price should drop if the 40p per unit was made universal across the board. But like all taxes it won't be dropped. In fact the truth is that the SNP's plan will eventually put all drinks up in price including fine malts and wines. I've never heard of taxes going down or not being extended. The VAT was supposed to be for luxury goods only but now affects ladies tampax and other essentials.
I tried buckie once ( purely for a tonic of course ) and found it was ok for one glass but I couldn't have drunk the whole bottle.

Anonymous said...

Will this wonder stuff help me pay my Licence fee.
Daft English.

buckie... said...


Just checked the govt website regarding alcohol units.
It says that buckfast has 11.25 units per bottle.

11 x 40p = £4.40

Buckfast costs £6.50
So that's £2.10 refund in tax and enough for 4 cans of cheap lager. Sorted !

Toni said...

The minimum price per alcohol unit is likely to be added to the current cost so Buckie will from £6.50 to £10.90.

Bugger said...

In fact Oh Rantin One I used to work, in another life, for the company who owned the distribution rights in the UK for Buckfast and the brand Eldorado.

They were sold into different markets then, both geographically and what you would call socio/econoically.

Buckie was then sold alost exclusively in the Coatbridge area including the odd outpost like Plains (by Airdrie) but not Caldercruix (by Airdrie) and Croy but not in Twechar next door. I a sure that you Rab will get the gist of this.

It was open air electric soup for the young neds who had graduated to it from coca cola, sweet and with the added bonus of a buzz.

Eldorado actually was a really good product. It was originally a South African type of fortified wine, a sort of Sherry which I think it was originally called back before the EEC. That stopped with the UK "sherry" trade when it was Appelation Controlled.

Sherry drinking was well on the wane then, think of Ena Sharples generation but the town of Greenock and Port Glasgow was a hive of LD afficionados.

I visited the area several times and was astounded to find that it was a real working man's drink and moreover it was a shipyard workers drink.

At lunchtime the bears would nip out of the Yard for a beer and a nip or two. Whisky was too much to drink and then go back to cutting holes in boats so the sank an LD which looked identical to whisky.

At 12 noon the Yard pubs had trays stacked 6 high with pre-poured nips of LD.

It was just to low cost a drink to be consumed outside these working man's traditions and drinking it in the evening was confined to working men's clubs.

Neither drink was popular in Glasgow and around Govan it was dark rum.

My moral here is that it is cultural, or lack of culture in the case of Buckie, that drove taste and consumption.

Even then I predicted (30 years ago) that Buckie would survive in that same age group but if it ever became too dear or inaccessible to the neds they would turn to drugs. I think that this is the real poison, the ix of drugs and Buckie. The Buckie is identifiable but the drugs are long gone in the miscreants bloodstream and once huckled by the Polis the Buckie takes the blame, not the mix.#

By the way I voted g=for your "England grow a pair of Balls" post in the Voice of The Resistance Poll but sad to say I won, thanks to an online lesson from Dougie Alexander on vote rigging.

See you at Subrosa's blogspot later this evening.

The Panda is back!

Joe Public said...

Margaret Thatcher's "Oxygen of Publicity" dictum. Again.

Oldrightie said...

There seems to be more money wasted on alchohol and fag campaigns than on hard core drugs. I am pretty sure they are more expensive and corrosive than booze. Hypocritical bastards. It's just another Bilderberger scam to tax the shit out of us.

Buckie..... said...


I'm sure that the SNP said that the minimum price wouldn't affect 'normal' drinkers as they would be drinking stuff already costing more than the proposed minimum price per unt ?
That's why they said that pubs wouldn't be affected ( average pint is £2.50 or about £1 per unit of alcohol )

Dick Puddlecote said...

Nice one, Rab. Ta for translating, I've nicked it with a view to link tomorrow. ;-)

anonemo said...


I think your wrong about LD not being popular in Glasgow, though admittedly not as popular as it was in Greenock .

I can remember partaking of the odd bottle of it, as well as Lanliq and Four Crown.

Anonymous said...

I never knew it was so high in the old caffeine. Surely a bottle of this nectar at a fiver a throw(returnable bottles,haha)is a much better deal than 5 skinny lattes at costas.
Why is it only the underclass who have been privy to this information up to now?
Tme for this rarity to be taken out of their hands,and priced out of their world.
Same as all super strength brews,Rab. I said at the age of 22-a quarter of a century ago-that anything that was designed to get you very drunk very quickly should be banned. Which coming from someone who drinks as much as I do is a bit rich.
But I know who can sit in a corner and giggle when their pissed,and who to keep an eye on when I go to the toilet