Friday, February 12, 2010

Police announce harrasment campaign against shopkeeper

I nearly fell off the couch whilst reading this story. It ticks nearly all the righteous boxes. I'm slightly disappointed that the environmental box remains un-ticked though.

Good to see that the police are being honest and admitting that they will be harassing the poor shop owner, even though he is selling perfectly legal goods in his shop.

I particularly enjoyed the 'think of the cheeldren' comment. Here's an idea, don't walk past the shop if you're concerned about it.

As a footnote, the location of the shop isn't in the middle of the high street, it's in a small parade of shops that was built in the seventies at the height of socialist vandalism when the vast majority of Kilmarnock town centre was destroyed and rebuilt in a vision of Soviet concreted central planning.

Kilmarnock town centre serves as a warning to future generations. If you can stand the excitement, have a look at the webcam. Funnily enough, it points to the area not destroyed by the socialists.

15 comments:

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rab where abouts is it. I might need some cheering up sometime!

RantinRab said...

In the Foregate mate, next to the chippie. Handy for when you get the munchies!

microdave said...

“Anything that is potentially damaging to the citizens of East Ayrshire is a concern to us.

“Products in this shop may be legal but if they are mis-used could lead to serious injury or even death.

“Young people shouldn’t be fooled into thinking that, just because a substance is legal, that it’s safe.”

But those quotes cover a multitude of everyday products - Christ, it could include cars, bicycles, DIY tools......

I bet Leg Iron will have some fun with this!

formertory said...

Said Superintendent Dougie Robertson: “Anything that is potentially damaging to the citizens of East Ayrshire is a concern to us.

Geez.

hypocrisy said...

The bobby said that just because these herbs and stuff are legal doesn't mean they're safe.
Off licences and tobacco sellers will have to be closed down aswell then. They're legal but according to the government they're not safe.
And does the bloke with the 4 yr old kid walk past off licences ? Full of stuff that is legal but according to Nicola Sturgeon is the number one danger to the cheeldren.
The bloke should open a buckfast, pie and woodbine shop. Everyone will be happy

Cold Steel Rain said...

I particularly like the "“Products in this shop may be legal but if they are mis-used could lead to serious injury or even death." comment.

Tescos sell Toasters that will kill you if you use them when bathing and Argos sell quite lethal laundry baskets (if you try to use them as parachutes)

Barking Spider said...

Pity that shop is so far away from me, Rab, or I would be paying them a visit!

microdave said...

"Argos sell quite lethal laundry baskets (if you try to use them as parachutes)"

How do you know? - It can't be from personal experience.....

Dark Lochnagar said...

Anyway the laundry would fall on your head. You wouldn't know when you are about to hit the the ground if you have a pair of dirty knickers over you head. Mind you knowing some bastards from Kilmarnock, at that point they would be wanking furiously at the smell.

banned said...

Great webcam, it's 03:15am and I think I just saw some neds burning a tramp.

Chief Supt MacKillblast said...

What the scrotes of Kilmarnock need is a damn good Taser, Taser, Taser. It is my job to see that they get a damn good Taser, Taser, Taser.

Just to make sure that we do the job properly, anyone found on the streets after 18.30hrs must be considered potentially damaging and therefore subjected to the full rigours of Taser, Taser, Taser.

RantinRab said...

Chief Supt, having just arrived back from a trip to the local shop I would have to agree with you!

Wrinkled Weasel said...

The most subversive thing I can imagine is the hundreds of souvenir shops throughout the British Isles, that sell exactly the same crap, but with their own name printed on them. Like I really need another pencil or a Pot Pourri, or a tea towel. Not only that, they have ruined Vivaldi's Four Seasons for me, forever.

I have never been to Kilmarnock.

Bugger said...

I see it is pishin doon in Killie.

Also I see you have an electronically accessible cooncil.

Do you suppose that 50,000 Volts would be adequate Rab?

Joe Public said...

Rab:- An item of interest north 'o the border.........

It's even spreading world wide:-

"Terrified Scottish Establishment Desperate To Suppress Exposure Of Their Paedophile Ring"

http://forums.canadiancontent.net/news/90032-terrified-scottish-establishment-desperateto-suppress.html