Monday, November 29, 2010

wiki bollocks

Anyone else think all this Wikileaks hype is a load of,,,, well, hype?

Looks like us sheeple are being fed a pile of crap.

Or am I just really, really cynical?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Official, they really ARE criminals



Via Captain Ranty, the above video, (it drones on a bit, read the highlights here), Lord James of Blackheath incriminates himself by admitting involvement with various terrorist groups.

"My biggest terrorist client was the IRA"

"I have also had extensive connections with north African terrorists"

"it is no good getting the police in, because I shall immediately call the Bank of England as my defence witness, given that it put me in to deal with these problems"


Clearly I am summarising my initial thoughts. There is a whole lot more to this than terrorists.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Winter driving advice


With winter approaching here is advice for driving in icy conditions

WOMEN

1, Sit in the car with the engine running and the heater on full for 15-20 minutes until the windscreen is completely clear.
2. Pull away nervously, screaming every time the wheels lose traction, sit as close to the steering wheel as possible and try to fight back the tears.
3. When reaching a gritted road continue to drive at no more than 11mph, preferably in 4th gear so that the car lurches everywhere.
4. Arrive at work leaving the car wherever it stops, enter the office and cry with other female colleagues about how frightening the journey was.

MEN

1. Start the car, scrape off the ice with a CD cover so that there is a 6 inch hole in the ice.
2. Accelerate wildly in an attempt to get the speedo reading 90mph while still at a walking pace.
3. When joining a vaguely gritted road drive as normal, weaving around any women travelling at 11mph.
4 Wind the driver's window down and turn the heater up to full to carry out an experiment as to whether wind chill can be beaten by the heater matrix.
5. Arrive at the work car park at a much higher speed than usual to enable a high speed handbrake turn. If possible blow the horn to alert other men to your feat of machismo.
6. Realise that you were going too fast for the conditions.
7. Exit the vehicle and inspect damage to your car, other cars you have collided with as well as damage to kerbs/bollards/bystanders.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Big Brother's Little Brother


Have a look at your future. But it's okay, Eastenders will still be broadcast and Simon Cowell will still be raking in millions by laughing at the great unwashed.

Our European masters are testing the above contraption in Finland.

To those who say 'nothing to hide, nothing to fear' I hope you get the pox. To the rest of you I say 'Baaaaaaaa'.

Don't say you haven't been warned.

Flab-tastic

Take a look at this link. The huge building in the middle is the job centre plus, (or whatever it's called these days). In Scotland these places are commonly known as 'the buroo'.

Just. Look. At. The. Fucking. Size. Of. The. Building.

It's ma-hoo-sive. And it serves Kilmarnock and the surrounding area. A population of perhaps eighty thousand people. Most larger towns have them.

If any illustration is needed that the 'public sector' needs slashing this is it. How many people are employed in this building? Fucking hellski. I bet it takes the annual GDP of Bolivia just to run this one alone.

I noticed today when passing that the local Labour MP, Cathy Jamieson, has an office directly opposite the entrance. Next door to her is the office for some Labour wannabe muppet, (I can't remember his name).

Entirely coincidental I'm sure...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Ummm.....

....hello. Anyone here?

My anger is still unabated. It still eats away at my very being.

I try to ignore it, but like a pubescent boy who has discovered what his willy really is for I cannot resist the urge to ejaculate my rage into the ether.

Watch this space.....