Friday, February 26, 2010

The BBC are 'at it'.

Made with compressed £50 notes...

You may be aware that the BBC have to make cuts of around £600 million and in order to help achieve this minor saving they apparently are closing down two radio stations and scaling back their web presence.

The Times have got their hands on a detailed report, no doubt leaked to them by some Beeboid as part of a campaign to get more tax payers money.

Already online campaigns have sprung up to 'save' the radio stations under threat. Twitter is awash with people bleating on about it.

Just what the BBC wanted. The fools have played right into their hands, in my opinion.

In other news, the BBC can't control their building budgets. The extension to Television Centre is £100 million over budget and the HQ for BBC Scotland was a year late in opening and was £62 million over budget.

I pass by the studios in Glasgow fairly regularly and just along the road is the HQ of it's commercial rival in Scotland, STV. It is also a new building but it is around a fifth of the size of the BBC building. Funny how those who can spend other peoples money have the shiniest baubles. And can go over budget.

And as a wee footnote, it looks like someone forgot to incorporate a car park for the Beeb in Scotland, judging by the amount of cars abandoned all along Pacific Drive, even at the roundabout.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Street Justice...

Look out at 2.18. The camera operator steals the old man's bag.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Piss off, Scottish Gummint.

Contains lots of angry swearing...

Just piss off, you bunch of jumped up town councillors.

Right, I am thoroughly fucked off. The cunts that infest the monumental waste of our cash that is the Scottish Parliament have decided that their are too many fat bastards in Scotland. And of course, something must be done.

So, true to form what must be done is to 'punish' everyone by dictating what shops can sell and where it can sell it. Employers will be 'encouraged' to help their staff get healthy.

Some fuckwit called Tam Fry, (is his middle name Deep?), declares that supermarkets sell too many foods high in fat/salt/sugar etc. Is the clown blind? Shops are full of healthier options. People buy what they want to buy. People eat what they want to eat. What fucking business is it of the state?

Oh, apparently obesity costs Scotland £457 million a year and could reach a cost of £3 billion a year. Yeah, fucking prove it then.

I'm fed up with this constant crap. If I want to gorge myself on deep fried pizza, smoke forty fags a day and drink litres of white cider 'till I piss my trousers and vomit down my string vest that's my concern, not yours. I'm perfectly aware that I'll probably die from a heart attack before I'm fifty. It's more appealing than listening to the constant stream of sanctimonious arseholes dictating what we can and cannot do.

Perhaps they should take a look at Alex 'who ate all the pies' Salmond. Talk about leading by example. The fat cunt.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

'A future fair for all...'

Yeah, 'cos the last thirteen years had fuck all to do with you. You utter bastards.

thanks to Henry for the anagram and Man Widdicombe for the pic.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Top ten of 2010...

Two chances.....

Of course I will pay up...

The other day my missus, being the registered owner of our car, received a parking violation fine through the post.

Apparently she overstayed her welcome by twenty minutes when visiting a large shopping mall/retail park. Fair enough, I suppose. Their gaffe, their rules.

However, it's not their gaffe. It's a council owned car park which means it belongs to us, the 'people'.

The demand itself is written in big bold red writing, with the consequences spelled out if you fail to comply. You need to look pretty hard to find out that it is from a private company.

The icing on the cake for me is the little nugget that if we want proof of the violation we need to pay ten quid for the privilege.

After careful consideration of the above, I have decided that they can stick their 'demand' up their hole.

Quango-tastic expenses

Strathclyde Partnership for Troughing

Here in west central Scotland we have a transport quango called Strathclyde Partnership for Transport, (SPT), which uses tax payers money to subsidise cheap travel for the masses. It covers the old Strathclyde Regional Council empire and has went through various guises during the years.

It is currently embroiled in an expenses scandal.

Like all quangos, pissing tax payer's money up the wall seems to be one of it's strengths.

It's chairman, Alistair Watson, resigned earlier this week due to 'health grounds' and yesterday the chief executive Ron Culley quit also due to 'health reasons'.

Mr Culley, 60, has been at the centre of a controversy over trips by 11 directors and executives costing £117,573 over the last three years to destinations including China, India, Italy and the United States as well as in the UK. Of that, the foreign trips’ share was around £50,000.

Being a public servant must be a good life.

Meanwhile, the position of Councillor Davie McLachlan as South Lanarkshire’s representative on the SPT is being considered by his local Labour group in the next few days after it was revealed he had claimed £17,544 for travelling 35,650 miles as its vice-chairman.

Yes, it certainly does look like a good life.

Fear not however...

The three largest councils within the SPT area have got together to sort out the crisis and will use their combined voting weight to usher in a new chairman. All the councils are Labour led.

Problem solved then...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Random Randomness??

Here are some 'random' words, for your perusal. There may be some dots to join up of there may not be dots to join up. I suppose we will all find out soon enough.

Tony Blair, Dunblane massacre, Robert Green, Operation Ore, Hollie Greig, Senior Members of Blair's Government, Scottish Crown Office, D Notice, Paedophile Gang, Thomas Hamilton, Landslide Productions, Aberdeen, George Robertson, Firearms license, Sheriff Graeme Buchanan, Child Pornography, Grampian Police.

Link, Link, Link, Link,

Friday, February 12, 2010

Police announce harrasment campaign against shopkeeper

I nearly fell off the couch whilst reading this story. It ticks nearly all the righteous boxes. I'm slightly disappointed that the environmental box remains un-ticked though.

Good to see that the police are being honest and admitting that they will be harassing the poor shop owner, even though he is selling perfectly legal goods in his shop.

I particularly enjoyed the 'think of the cheeldren' comment. Here's an idea, don't walk past the shop if you're concerned about it.

As a footnote, the location of the shop isn't in the middle of the high street, it's in a small parade of shops that was built in the seventies at the height of socialist vandalism when the vast majority of Kilmarnock town centre was destroyed and rebuilt in a vision of Soviet concreted central planning.

Kilmarnock town centre serves as a warning to future generations. If you can stand the excitement, have a look at the webcam. Funnily enough, it points to the area not destroyed by the socialists.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Bi-Polar Gorgon...

Make your own here

The launch of 'Operation Justification'

Use only in emergency. Or imminent funding cuts.

Have you noticed the huge increase in Government backed advertising? Over the past couple of weeks you can't turn on the radio or the telly without being bombarded by 'messages' from our masters or our masters representatives, (quango/fakecharity). The newspapers are just as bad. It's getting to the ridiculous stage, at one point on the radio the other night, three out of five adverts in a single ad break were paid for by the tax payer.

I've been mulling this phenomenon over. At first I just thought it was the annual spend the budget bonanza we see every year as the financial year end approaches. But this year is different. We are being bombarded from every conceivable angle by the vast assortment of adverts.

If I was a cynic I would suggest that the reason for the sudden burst of brainwashing activity is due to realisation in our 'beloved' agency/quango/gummint departments that their precious jobs with attached gold plated pensions and perks are under threat. They know the gravy train is grinding to a halt.

So, when the axe looms high overhead their precious empires they will have the ammunition of the current frenzied activity to help plead the case for continued funding. Information from their latest campaigns will be glorified on graphs and charts which will be published and distributed far and wide, press releases will be primed ready to go when the balloon goes up.

I just hope their panicky nonsense fails. Miserably.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Some Mash Goodness!

Five easy-to-remember tips for a hassle-free stitch-up:
  • Always make false arrests when you are either completely sober or completely drunk. Anything in between is a minefield.

  • Never, ever do it in a restaurant. Best to wait a few hours and then drag them from bed at three o'clock in the morning so their neighbours will automatically assume they're a terrorist.

  • Bring a chum. The 'off-duty, solo' is riddled with potential bear-traps, but nobody is going to doubt the sworn testimony of TWO arresting officers.

  • If you do get found out - keep smiling. Do not give the Daily Mail a chance to publish a photo of you looking all shifty eyed.

Do not be black or Asian. Especially an uppity one.

full article here

Cut foreign aid say Britons

Your money, up in smoke.

Interesting article in the Metro this morning. Most people when asked by the Metro poll said that the UK should cut it's overseas aid budget and use the money in Britain.

Absolutely correct, in my opinion. Of course emergency humanitarian funds should be available in the case of natural disasters, like the Haiti earthquake, but handing out our money in 'aid' to 'developing countries' is just not on. India is a recipient of British foreign aid cash even though it is a nuclear state and runs a space programme.

Nice bit of spin from the Metro though, - 'despite most supporting the multi-million-pound response to the Haiti earthquake'.

They support it because they want to support it, the success of the charity record and the amount given by the public says it all. Charity and support should be voluntary, given by individuals or businesses, not tax payers money dished out as the government sees fit.

It's also good to see Gordon and his cronies being consistent in these austere times. Britain's overseas aid budget is to increase to £7.8 billion for 2010/11 which is an increase on the £5.5 billion budget of 2008/09. Way to go Gordo.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Three words too many.

'Do you wanna see my truncheon?'

With the news that bent copper Dizaei has been jailed for four year for being a corrupt bully, (Rab prediction, he will appeal and play the racism card and his sentence will be reduced to suspended), I was somewhat taken aback by the statement from his boss, Sir Paul Stephenson...

It is extremely disappointing and concerning that this very senior officer has been found guilty of abusing his position and power.

Those three little words speak volumes. Disappointing and concerning that he has been 'found guilty of'.

I bet he is.


The demon drink

'My Social Worker, Teacher and Youth Worker says it's not my fault. Pure quality man...'

Once again, Scotland's 'problem' with drink is in the news. To be honest I don't think it ever leaves the news. 'Scotland likes a bevvy' is hardly a surprising headline.

The way they go on and on about it, people would think that we stumble about wearing piss stained trousers and shouting at strangers on the bus whilst guarding a rapidly festering kebab with our life. This is not the case, as far as I can tell. I'm not denying that Scotland consumes more alcohol than the average nation, we like a drink. Big deal.

As ever, the socialists need a bogey man to point at and scare the populace. Terrorism, global warming, tobacco have been used extensively to nanny and control us. Alcohol is now the favoured subject that is to be used to legislate against the masses.

In Scotland the SNP government are pushing for minimum pricing legislation. This, apparently, will cure us of our obsession overnight. The Labour clowns are calling for a ban on certain types of booze and want to control the ingredients in others. None of the proposals will work. If people want to get off their tits they will always find a way.

Our town centres and parks etc are filled by youngsters running riot. Filled by booze fighting, pewking and shagging. They don't care and their parents don't or don't know how to care. The kids are not worried about any consequences because they have been brought up in the bosom of the nanny state. No punishment will await them come hang over time. They are victims of society, according to the socialist hand book. Back in the day when I was fourteen or so, if my mates and I managed to get our hands on a bottle of merrydamage we would hide away and drink it. There was no way we would brazenly wander the streets half pissed causing mayhem because we know what would happen to us. The youngsters of today have never been held to account for their actions. A huge army of apologists are around these days with countless reasons/excuses for the behaviour of the young cash cows/people.

Likewise, the incessant creep of the nanny state has eroded the parental skills that have been used for countless generations. Parents are told how to bring up their children by the government and quangos. The result of this madness we can see every weekend night in the town centres. It is no coincidence that the majority of the children belong to parents caught in the 'benefit trap'.

So, to summarise. Yes, Scotland has a booze problem. It's not a new phenomenon and the proposals spouted by the politicians will not work. Holding people to account for their actions may be the answer.

And in other news, Rangers and Celtic have announced new shirt sponsors. Tennents Lager. Who also sponsor the national football team. Who play like a hung over pub team. Not a peep from Holyrood on that little nugget.

Carlsberg don't do irony....

Friday, February 5, 2010

Jim Devine interview - car crash telly

Watch the piggie wriggle!!

1. Write to me at Jim Devine MP, Suite 5, Pentland House, Almondvale, Livingston, EH54 6NG.

2. Phone me on 01506 497965

3. Fax me on 01506 497962

4. Email me at

Tis a good day, but...

'Oink, oink, oink and once again, oink'

The news that four of our piggy-wiggy 'parliamentarians' are to be charged with fiddling is indeed welcome news.

But you and I know, deep down, that the bastards will get away with it. Anything less than a jail sentence will be getting away with it, as far as I am concerned.

We are just being humoured. Give the plebs a few token scalps, hopefully that'll shut them up.

I sincerely hope that come the day when punishment is handed out and it is not a jail sentence, the sheeple take to the streets and break a few windows.

Whilst typing this, the lead story on Channel Five news is about a footballer and a slag who loves footballer cock. Fucking hellski...

Techie Mong Bastards.

Has never seen a naked girl in real life...

You will have noticed my new look. Out with the Rab C. Nesbitt theme and in with a new fresh look. I spent ages looking for a new template as, let's be honest, the old look was a dog's breakfast.

Blogger doesn't have any three column templates. I wanted a three column template so I searched amongst the dozens of sites offering free ones and after extensive (but apparently not extensively enough) testing on my 'fucking about' blog site I settled for this one. I was pleased with the result.

That is, I was pleased until I wanted to add some pics/links to the side bars. Every time I try to move an element of the site using the layout option in my dashboard the thing takes an epileptic fit.

I nearly threw my lap-top out of the window. Patience is a virtue that I do not possess.

I may have to pay, (splutter!!), for a proper site.

So, to the techy mong bastard who done the coding for this template.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your pubic hair.

You 'look at how clever I am' cocksniff.

The Madness that is the EU. Part 1

Gracias, contribuyente inglés

We all know that Britain gets shafted by the rules and regulations of the EU. With our history of fair play and abiding by the rules we were always going to get shafted, no debate on that one. Our slippery continental cousins do all the ducking and diving and seem to do very well out of the EU, thank you very much.

As an island nation we have relied for countless generations on the harvest of the sea. Our traditional fishing grounds served Britain well and the industry managed them well. In 1970 there had been 21,443 fisherman employed on the boats and for every job at sea there was around ten on land relying on the industry.

Fast forward to today and it is a very different picture. Forty per cent of the fishing jobs at sea have been lost. Only around 12,000 fisherman earn a living on the boats today. The total jobs lost both at sea and on land since Britain joined the EU and has had to endure the Common Fisheries Policy is 115,000. The tonnage of fish landed in British ports has nearly halved.

All the above is bad enough to endure without the following...

The EU fishing fleet has been modernised extensively, all at the taxpayer's expense of course. As the British fleet was modern and well managed our 'share' of the pot was negligible. For every pound spent on British boats the Spanish fleet got £6.72. It doesn't take an expert to work out how our fishing industry has been destroyed. Our traditional fishing grounds are now our EU partners fishing grounds.

The British taxpayer has contributed £150 million towards building foreign fishing vessels which can legally plunder our seas. Even today, we still contribute £64 million a year to the madness of the Common Fisheries Policy.

We pay Pedro and his chums to steal our cod and haddock.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Gordon's secret slush fund??

The Prime Minister

10, Downing Street
London, SW1A 2AA

3 February 2010

Dear Mr Brown,

At Prime Minister’s Questions today, you told the House of Commons that you knew nothing about the secret fund, worth a reported £50,000, which was held by the Labour Party for your benefit. When asked why you did not declare this on the Register of Members’ Financial Interests (RMFI), you said specifically: ‘I know nothing about what he [the questioner] is talking about.’

This simply cannot be true.

It is clear from Peter Watt, the Labour Party’s former General Secretary, that you were the beneficiary of a secret fund held by the Labour Party. He has said explicitly:

‘Before becoming Prime Minister, Gordon went to some lengths to insulate himself and the Treasury from our financial troubles, setting up his own personal pot of cash at party HQ. This was money we could not dip into, since it was set aside for the Chancellor’s own pet projects. Murray Elder helped secure donations from the Chancellor’s supporters’ (Inside Out, January 2010, page 105).

He went on to claim that it may have been used to finance your ‘long-term campaign to become party leader’ (Inside Out, Peter Watt, 2010, page 105).

Mr Watt’s assertions were widely reported. Indeed, across several pages in the Mail on Sunday, Mr Watt claimed that you used ‘up to £50,000-a-year of Labour money to pay for private polling’ (Mail on Sunday, 17 January 2010).

The allegations were explicitly confirmed as truthful by a Labour official who said in the same article: ‘It [the fund] was funded through donations to the Party.’

In the light of these allegations, my colleague, Greg Hands MP, wrote to you more than two weeks ago, on 17 January, to query why you had failed to declare the fund properly the Register of Members’ Financial Interests. This letter was publicised in several newspapers on 18 January.

As you did not respond, Greg Hands submitted a complaint to John Lyon, the Parliamentary Commissioner this week. I attach a copy of this complaint for your reference. Again, this complaint was reported.

Yesterday in a speech titled ‘Transforming Politics’, you said that you would ‘do all that is necessary to restore trust’ in politics and the conduct of MPs. If you wish to restore trust in politics, you should stop treating people like fools by claiming that you were unaware of this fund when all the evidence points to the contrary. I therefore urge you to admit to this fund’s existence, apologise for misleading the House and co-operate with any inquiries that John Lyon may wish to make.

Yours sincerely,

Eric Pickles
Chairman, The Conservative Party
Member of Parliament for Brentwood and Ongar


Let's see the bastard wriggle on this one.