Monday, May 24, 2010

Work related ranting.

A selection of complete and utter bastards from the olden days, for your perusal.

There are many, many things that get on my tits whilst I am at work. I could sit here all day and type a huge list, but I shall refrain because I'm sure the majority of the points will also apply to anyone in any type of job. But there is one bugbear that is, as far as I know, unique to my line of work.

For those of you that do not know, I work night shift in a supermarket. I have a fancy title which means little except that it's my balls that are in a sling come morning hand over time. In a nutshell, the shop is mine at night and it's up to me and my team to put it all back together so the bastard customers can wreck it again whilst I am in bed. It's a few steps up from working in the public sector. At least my toil generates cash for someone...

Anyway, what really rips my knitting is caused by lazy fuckwitted customers. Customers who can't be arsed walking a few yards. Customers who, after carefully selecting a pack of chicken breasts or a joint of meat from the chiller cabinets, dump them onto shelving a few aisles away.

Not refrigerated shelving. Of course not, that wouldn't be a problem.

No, the bastards dump them in the crisps aisle. Or the pet food aisle. Or in the fucking soap powder aisle. Any aisle except one with fridges.

We find it all on nightshift. Along with empty soft drinks bottles, sweet wrappers, burst open and half eaten biscuits and the occasional cooked chicken carcass. Apparently I work in a picnic site.

But it's the fresh foods that really gets to me. It's such a waste! Straight into the bin it goes. Decent grub wasted because of laziness. And it costs a fortune. It's my bonus that your chipping away at too.

We sometimes find chicken breasts etc a few weeks after they have been dumped. You get a whiff and it takes ages to pin point the origin of the aroma. Then it's strip out a section time. It's fucking disgusting. You lazy, thoughtless bastards.

Just stop it, okay!

And before anyone decides to have a pop at me about big bad supermarkets or to moan about 'customer service' issues, fuck right off. I went nights to get away from cunts like you.


Ruda Malpa said...

As an EX-FFPP Manager, I totally agree with you. It also used to fuck me off when you work your nuts off to get your waste to below the 1% target & then someone dumps £10 worth of beef in the drinks aisle & fucks it all up!

RantinRab said...

I'm also an ex FFPP manager. Worst fucking job in the shop.

Mark MacLachlan said...

Arf, I take it you haven't found those carefully discarded prawns in the perfume department yet?

The 24 hour Tescopolis down here is fucking frightening after midnight. Scantily clad behemoths wander the aisles looking for romance, flashing their arse antler tattoos at any poor fucker unfortunate to have forgotten milk for the kids breakfast.

TheBigYin said...

Never worked in a superdoopermarket Rab but as a customer I feel your pain. Your employers have a 'shop' just a short bus ride away, where I go once a week. I find Morrisons a good place to shop, always tidy and a joy to do your shoping in. That's down to guys like you so give yourselves a pat on the back.

For everyday shoping (and to get my tobacco products) I go to Netto's which is just across the road. What a bloody difference, it's a shithole. Like most supers these days they have an isle full of hard goods like hoovers, gardening equipment, tools and loads of cheep stuff that Del Boy used to sell. I have picked up a few bargains there over the years, mostly computer stuff but lots of goods that get stored away after a couple of usages. I'm going today to buy a 250 gig portable usb hard drive for £39.99. But, like you, I could write a list as long as your arm about my fellow customers, the complete and utter fucking morons.

If your after something you can bet your bottom dollar that each box has been opened, the contents disgorged and laid out in various parts of the isle.

This lot would put January sales. morons to shame.

Bucko said...

As a customer rather than an employee, laziness also gets right on my tits. I go to Sainsburys in Darwen and they have a reduced items section (like most places). I always go for a rummage through and there are always items dumped there that are not on offer. People pick something up then find something similar in the reduced section and just swap them.
I also cant stand the cunts ambling along with their trolleys and prams, blocking the isle with no self awareness whatsoever.
And the kids running around.
And the reserved spaces for mums with their snot gobblers and their land rovers.

Internet shopping - its the future.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

"Any aisle except one with fridges."

This, I don't understand. But when it comes to swapping the expensive thing in your trolley for a cheaper alternative in a later aisle, I have absolutely no fucking sympathy at all.

You can blame the cunts who choose where stuff goes in the first place for that one.

RantinRab said...

Obo, There is no logic involved here at all.

Chicken breasts dumped in the bleach aisle??

TheBigYin said...

Obo, you can be such a clown sometimes. That's the end of my joke repertoire. :0)

microdave said...

Totally agree, Rab. This country is full of lazy, badly brought up slobs. I like to think I'm still above this, but with every day it becomes more difficult.

FFS, I sometimes find myself tidying up supermarket shelves, and then wondering if I shouldn't, in case I have put back something which must now be discarded, to comply with stupid H&S regulations....

And now, to further piss me off, Sainsbury's have just replaced the basket-only checkouts with fucking self service ones. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I would prefer to have some contact with a human when buying things. Presumably in ten years time the customer will be expected to stack the shelves as well?

Come to think of it, why not let us grow our own food, then there won't be any need for shops at all....

Anonymous said...

Som Cunt from Scotland said in 1997
Somthing to do with EDUCATION.
We now have the result, FAT FUCK

Anonymous said...

As a supermarket warehouse worker who has to come in every morning and clear up the utter devastation left by the night colleagues I have very little sympathy at all.
I have worked in the current job for over ten years now and I could probably count on the fingers of one hand the days I've walked in to a tidy warehouse and yard.
Oh, and I've heard all the excuses and "we employ a lot of lazy bastards at night doing second jobs" never seems to crop up.

RantinRab said...

Anon 5.54, the warehouse is my responsability too.

No chaotic warehouse in my shop.

Perhaps the managers in your shop need to employ a nights warehouse man.

banned said...

One of your colleagues darn sarf informs me of the alkiholics who quite brazenly grab bottles of spirits and neck down as much as possible before being resrained by any staff brave enough to do so. They don't care about being arrested because thy have already achieved their aim, to stay pissed for a few more hours.

Anonymous said...

I hold my hands up to that, always like to take the piss cos I remember the piss taken out of me. Also, it's a lot cheaper to eat in store than to take the crap home.

It's like one big merry-go-round of misery sadly.

Ruda Malpa said...

Didn't take long for a 'dayshift' muppet to start bitchin' bout the nightcrew..... teehee!

bloody other shift said...

It's always the other shift's fault. Even when you move to the other shift yourself ; )

subrosa said...

What gets to me is the way they change the items around regularly 'to encourage us to buy more'.

That's rubbish. I just go home because if I wanted a long walk I'd have one somewhere far more pleasurable than a supermarket.

Morrisons don't seem to be as bad as Tesco for doing this though or maybe it's because my nearest one is 20 miles away and I don't visit too often.

Dick the Prick said...

Err...hmmm...soz but guilty afraid.

JuliaM said...

"Anyway, what really rips my knitting is caused by lazy fuckwitted customers. Customers who can't be arsed walking a few yards. Customers who, after carefully selecting a pack of chicken breasts or a joint of meat from the chiller cabinets, dump them onto shelving a few aisles away."

I see a lot of this walking round. It happens in every supermarket, even Waitrose. And it really, really annoys me too.

And I'm just a customer!

JuliaM said...

And Subrosa is spot on too. Why change things?

For the sake of it? Because some slick willy with a PowerPoint presentation and a glossy brochure full of charts told you it would increase sales? For a laugh?

Anonymous said...

It strikes me that dumping fresh produce in a non-refrigerated shelf is (a) no better than stealing the stuff in the first place as it's got to be chucked anyway, and (b) could poison someone who bought it by mistake e.g. if some misguided but kind-hearted person had put it back on the right shelf after it had been rotting for days.