Friday, June 12, 2009

The recession is over!!

Spurt....


Celebrations are being held up and down the land as news that the end of the recession has finally arrived.

A Downing Street spokesgimp confirmed this morning that, in official terms, the slump was over. This is due mainly to Mr Patel in Leicester hiring a paper boy. The leader of Leicester council said this morning, "This is wonderful news for the local economy, which will benefit by around £11.50 a week".

Financial institutions are being urged to start releasing easier credit in order to help the beleaguered garden hot-tub and giant trampoline industry.

Asked whether any lessons have been learned, the spokesgimp said, "absolutely fucking not".

12 comments:

Sue said...

What utter bollocks! Everyone knows it's all spin...

Shibby said...

I call bullshit

microdave said...

Charlie Romeo Alpha Papa....

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

Trust you lot to pop the feelgood balloon! :-)

Tory Poppins said...

Fucking hilarious comrade ;-)

brownlie said...

Hope Mr Patel takes over from that dick Mandelson!

hermit said...

Apparently it has been over for 2 months now. And the govt didn't admit we were in a recession til February. Which means it lasted for ..... a month?

Old Bag said...

ahh, you know us lot, rab me old mucker..we love nothing better than pissing on others' chips.

charlie.uniform.november.tango.sierra.

No Leader But Gordon said...

Mr Nesbitt.

Are you capable of giving us a positive posting? - Or like the rest of us, can you feel the ground shaking beneath your feet, as once again Gordon takes the upper hand toward another unstoppable victory in next Years General election.

I'll personally donate a bottle of buckfast if you renounce your wicked ways and "Vote Labour" from here on in.

The Penguin said...

Christ, No Bleeder But Jonah is getting about these days.

Still, I suppose some poor cunt has to do it.

The Penguin

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

NLBG, very tempting. A bottle of buckfast or my pinciples and beliefs...

I'll need to think about it.

microdave said...

NLBG, the ground will certainly be shaking beneath YOUR feet if Gordoom gets in again. It will be resonating to the marching of millions of people getting out of what was THEIR country, before you evil bastards wrecked it...