Oh your Honour, it was all a terrible,terrible mistake. I'd just bought some explosives so I could put together some home made fireworks for the kiddies when we celebrate Labour's Great Win on the weekend. I took a short cut back to the Tube past Parliament & you know how it is, I got taken short so I decided I'd best queue & go in to use the public loos in Parliament. Well, it took ages to get up the the bit where they search you & by then I was desperate, so seeing there were no Police actually there, I risked pushing past the search booths & started running along the corridor to find the toilets. The security guards started shouting after me & I'm afraid I panicked & lost my sense of direction & just kept running & then I saw some stairs ahead of me & I belted up them & suddenly realised I was up in the Public Gallery, which was almost full as it was PMQs. Well, not wanting to cause more of a furore than I already had, I ran towards the viewing rail, thinking I'd have a better view of exits from there. Unfortunately, just as I got to the rail, I tripped & my bags of explosives flew over the rail. Desperately trying to catch them, somehow my Zippo fell out of my pocket & followed the explosives over the rail & while trying to grab that, it opened and - to my horror I caught the flywheel with my thumb. There was a terrible BANG! and that's all I remember until I came round, handcuffed in the back of a police van. 646 you say? Oh your Honour, how terrible - how ever will I explain to the kiddies that we won't be having fireworks on the weekend?
3 comments:
Oh your Honour, it was all a terrible,terrible mistake. I'd just bought some explosives so I could put together some home made fireworks for the kiddies when we celebrate Labour's Great Win on the weekend. I took a short cut back to the Tube past Parliament & you know how it is, I got taken short so I decided I'd best queue & go in to use the public loos in Parliament. Well, it took ages to get up the the bit where they search you & by then I was desperate, so seeing there were no Police actually there, I risked pushing past the search booths & started running along the corridor to find the toilets. The security guards started shouting after me & I'm afraid I panicked & lost my sense of direction & just kept running & then I saw some stairs ahead of me & I belted up them & suddenly realised I was up in the Public Gallery, which was almost full as it was PMQs. Well, not wanting to cause more of a furore than I already had, I ran towards the viewing rail, thinking I'd have a better view of exits from there. Unfortunately, just as I got to the rail, I tripped & my bags of explosives flew over the rail. Desperately trying to catch them, somehow my Zippo fell out of my pocket & followed the explosives over the rail & while trying to grab that, it opened and - to my horror I caught the flywheel with my thumb. There was a terrible BANG! and that's all I remember until I came round, handcuffed in the back of a police van. 646 you say? Oh your Honour, how terrible - how ever will I explain to the kiddies that we won't be having fireworks on the weekend?
That's just about as likely as Hoon's story.
I like your story better though!
Apparently he bought 3 TV licenses in one year. No wonder the BBC sucks his willy and covers up his hoonishness.
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