Friday, September 18, 2009

Calm down folks, it's not as bad as we thought!


I've lost more falling steaming out of a taxi...


I found out last night that the national deficit is not as bad as first thought. Apparently, the treasury use the American billion (000,000 000) rather than the British billion (000 000, 000 000). Phew, that's a weight of my mind. I'll be able to sleep more soundly now.

So, the deficit currently stands at a mere £804, 000, 000 000 rather the £804, 000 000, 000 000.

Every person's share of the debt is now over £13,000.

Thank goodness for that. There was me thinking that we were totally screwed!

.

12 comments:

microdave said...

That's the problem with the decimal system - a few noughts in the wrong place can make a lot of difference....

bloke with nadgers said...

Dear Mr. Darling,

My cheque for £13.00p is in the post.

yours faithfully,
B. W. Nadgers esq.

captainff said...

Let me rummage around down behind the cushions on my sofa and see if we can get that down a bit further?

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

I've got a couple of empty Irn Bru bottles. 30p deposit on each I think...

bloke with nadgers said...

If I chopped my genital warts off and sold them as caviar we could be sorted.

The Economic Voice said...

@Rab

Irn Bru....the thinking man's lucozade...

Now could be a good time to start growing your own food....in the next 12 months the shit is going to hit EVERY fan....

bloke with nadgers said...

Fair point Economic Voice. I shall cancel the genital wart chopping forth with and start hoarding.

Alistair Darling said...

Phew I thought we were in the shit but using Americas billion counting system we're actually doing ok. The snotgobbler said it all started in America but they are going to get us out of it so fair dos to them.

technophobe said...

I got an Apple ipod for my birthday. Maybe I could sell that. Fuck knows what the ipod is for. I think I'm supposed to download some software for it but I can't even be arsed doing that.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

I'm a complete fuckwit with technology. I can barely use my laptop.

Just as well I employ an IT dept. (the wife).

Major Fuckup said...

I've got some old tin foil helmets for sale if anyone is interested ( Economic Voice ?).
They're not the latest version but as long as you stay 100 metres away from any government building then they can't read your thoughts.

The Economic Voice said...

Ney worries Major Fuckup ....who needs a tin hat when turtles can be scooped from their shells?