The recent bout of fair weather has prompted the bringing forward of the summer sword fighting season, a spokesman for the North Ayrshire Swordfighting Tournament Invigilators, (NASTI), announced earlier today.
Traditionally, the season starts in May when reasonable weather can be expected, but the combination of sunshine and shirtless drunken locals roaming the streets in Mid April has unexpectedly kicked off the season.
This year the use of bottles, particularly Buckfast bottles, have been banned as a point scoring weapon due to the large amounts of bevvy spilt last year. Purists of the sport welcomed this announcement and hopes are high that the sport goes 'back to basics' with the sole use of bladed weapons.
Sadly, last years champion, Big Tam McBam, is unable to defend his crown as he is currently in a coma in the local general hospital after a particularly nasty glassing incident suffered in the town's Weatherspoons pub. His partner is still in police custody after being charged in connection with the incident.
The blood transfusion service have launched the annual 'Please give blood' campaign earlier than usual and have set up their mobile unit in Morrison's car park.
A spokesman for Strathclyde Police this morning said, 'Aww fuck, no again'.