Monday, August 23, 2010

The Happiest Days of our Lives....

SCHOOL 1957 vs 2010

Scenario 1: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up

2010 - Police called, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programs for 3 months. School board hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programs

Scenario 2: Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Head Teacher. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested forADD. Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and School gets extra funding from state because Robbie has a disability.

Scenario 3: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957- Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2010 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.

Scenario 4: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

2010 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 5: Ahmed fails high school English.

1957- Ahmed goes to evening classes, passes English and goes to college.
2010 - Ahmed's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. Class action lawsuit filed against state school system and Ahmed's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Ahmed given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 6: Johnny takes apart leftover fireworks from 5th of November, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up an ant's nest.

1957- Ants die.

2010- MI 5 & MI6 & Anti-terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, MI5 investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 7: Johnny falls while running during school holidays and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957- In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing..

2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Stolen from Old Holborn, who probably stole it from some other site.


McGonagall said...

Folks working in the system call ADD "Single Mother Absent Father Syndrome". In the States there are schools that "require" all kids to be on ratalin because it increases test score averages which increases their funding.

Barking Spider said...

Ain't that the bloody truth, Rab! Thanks, Labour, you PC twats!

TheBigYin said...

Ahh, that pic Rab takes me back to my schooldays, not! (I fucking wish.)

Dioclese said...

You have accurate identified exactly what is wrong with the 21st century.

Dark Lochnagar said...

Rab, 100% right. I just about remember some of those scenarios, but you were just a dreep at the end of you father's cock!