- Always make false arrests when you are either completely sober or completely drunk. Anything in between is a minefield.
- Never, ever do it in a restaurant. Best to wait a few hours and then drag them from bed at three o'clock in the morning so their neighbours will automatically assume they're a terrorist.
- Bring a chum. The 'off-duty, solo' is riddled with potential bear-traps, but nobody is going to doubt the sworn testimony of TWO arresting officers.
- If you do get found out - keep smiling. Do not give the Daily Mail a chance to publish a photo of you looking all shifty eyed.
Do not be black or Asian. Especially an uppity one.
full article here