A message to the apologists...

Tip of the manky bandage to Mish Masher

Teaching Maths throughout the years...

1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The logger on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانتاج من
الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟

With thanks to MrMac...

Silly week, Jacko's crib

via videosift.com


This was the one I was looking for the other week. Funny as fook....

Cha'mone..............

More Silly Week stuff

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWN RIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

Silly week - Irish Rocket to the Moon

In support of Man In a Shed's silly week, I proudly present the genius of Spike Milligan -

The wonder of Google...

United Kingdom arrived from google.com on "RantinRab: Angry Britain" by searching for britain fuckin hate it not allowed to smoke next they will ban wanking.

Update on 'Comment-Gate'

Wow, I seemed to have stirred up things a wee bit!

Right, for the record-

I received and published the info in good faith. Genuine of fake? I'm sure it'll 'come out in the wash' at some point. Either way, it's still interesting stuff.

On a few other sites, some commenter's have mentioned some 'discrepancies' with the comment layout, I would like to clarify these, without adding fuel to the fire.

1) The comment has disappeared from the original thread and there is no evidence to show it was ever there, (IE- 'this comment has been removed by the author/administrator').

A blog owner/admin can delete ANY comment permanently and all trace of the comment will disappear.

2) The site the comment allegedly appeared on has a different comments style.

It takes a minute to change comment settings/layout on a blog.

3) The comment author name has no under-score.

On some sites they do, on others they don't. On my blog, comment author's names have no under-score.

So, there you go. My tuppence worth.

I'm fooked after a thirteen hour nightshift being on my feet and it's time for bed.

Real Labour...

Click to enlarge

Word on the street is that it is a fake...

tip of the manky bandage to...you know who you are.

The bitter taste of disappointment

I'll never forget the crushing disappointment I felt yesterday, when the result for the Norwich by election was announced. I actually thought I had mis-heard it or that the returning officer had made a balls up. But no, he actually said '36'.

I speak as a rank and file member, one who has just recently joined. I'm far detached from the inner workings and the activist side of things. I spread the word to friends and work colleagues, I run a blog. That's as far as I go. To be honest, that's as far as I want to go for the time being. Family and work comes first. Plus, the finger pointing and the 'why did no one listen to me' crap being spouted last night really pissed me off and has seriously put me off from being anything other than an 'ordinary' member.

But a member I shall remain!

All I can do is keep spreading the word and support the party when and where I can.

I'm looking forward to meeting some fellow libertarians next Saturday in Edinburgh. (I've never met one, what are they like?) Provided I don't get lost though, as I haven't been in Edinburgh for over thirty years!

Onwards and upwards!

A bit of nostalgia

Raleigh Super Burner

I had one of these. A christmas present when I was twelve or thirteen. Totally fantastic bike. I was the only kid in the neighbourhood to have one. Most had the bog standard burner, one or two had the ultra burner, but little me had the best of the lot, the super burner.

It got stolen, twice. The first time I had an idea who took it. I marched down to his house and raided the shed in his garden, recovered my bike and dispensed justice via a punch to the nose. The second time I never saw it again. My mates and I recovered a frame, with the serial number filed off but I couldn't prove that it was the decaying carcass of my pride and joy.

Happy days.

Every man needs one!

'Magic'

I've got one. Every house should have one, particularly houses that are lived in by males.

We got ours from Argos, £200 I think. Worth every penny! A fantastic invention.

I refer of course to that wonder full piece of furniture, the Magic Wardrobe.

I've lost count of the times I've tramped wearily up the stairs, at the end of the day or in the morning after a hard night at work. You peel off your attire and leave it on the floor. Within a few hours, usually by the time I've woken up they've gone! I've no idea where to but they always comes back, hanging up in the magic wardrobe all nicely laundered and ironed.

I've tried many a time to figure out how this happens. I've come to the conclusion that the wardrobe must be inhabited by some sort of laundry fairy, which apparently has a sibling living in the chest of drawers where my socks, boxers, belts and ties are kept.

A fantastic addition to any household, I urge you to rush out and buy one!

We also have magic cutlery and crockery, a magic fridge and a magic cooker.

Sadly, a magic bin that empties itself and a magic lawn that cuts itself seems to be beyond the powers of the fairies.

Only a ten year wait Gordon!

Looks like Gordon will need to wait another ten years!!

Labour bastards and cheap political point scoring

Points at evil, all the time..

Have a look at this and read the last paragraph or so.

Un-believable isn't it.

Labour = complete and utter scum. Any opportunity to score points. Even off the dead.

Utter, utter bastards.

Grow a set, England.

Right, let's get a few things straight before I dive into writing the drivel that's buzzing about my tiny brain. The following is not an attack against England, the English of English culture. Well, not directly anyway. My 'inspiration' came from a comment left by the Beast in response to a comment I left, over at Old Holborn's place. It got me thinking, which is never a good idea.

Up here in Scotland I feel that we are a bit detached from the problems 'down south'. I have never lived in England and have only visited a few times. Most of what I know I have gathered from the usual sources and more recently from the blogosphere. We have problems in Scotland of course, but I honestly think they are nothing compared to England. As far as I know there aren't any 'no go' areas for the indigenous population up here, immigration is not a huge deal and our councils don't really spy on us. We have no 'plastic plod', our laws seem a bit more swayed towards common sense and it is illegal for cars to be clamped.

Our health care seems to be far ahead of England, as is our care of the elderly. Free prescriptions for everyone is just around the corner, Wales and Northern Ireland have similar free prescription schemes. Further education is free at the point of use, (obviously it has to be paid for somehow, along with all the other 'good' stuff). My council tax bill has not risen for the third year in a row.

At this point, I would expect the usual barrage of comments screaming that the English tax payer is subsidising Scotland, that we get more than our fair share of the pot. I can see the logic in this, but as I am not numerically minded I will not start crunching figures. I'm not a pro Independence supporter, nor am I a pro unionist campaigner. I just want less government and petty rules, where-ever they come from.

In Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland our flags fly free and proud. The saltire can be found fluttering from flag poles at schools, public and private buildings up and down the land. No one would dream of ordering it to be taken down. No one would associate it with any terms ending in 'ist' or 'phobe'. In England it's a different story.

What happened to you lot? Why have you let this happen? Why aren't you out rioting in the streets?

As an 'outsider' looking towards England, I see a country that is ashamed of itself for no good reason whatsoever. A country that has no identifiable culture, or to be accurate, a culture that has been swept under the rug and ignored. All other cultures and practices are tolerated and celebrated.

I see a country that is being screwed into the ground, bled dry. Parasites from all over the world flock to it to share in the feast. England's colonial past and proud history are not taught in the schools. Children are taught to be ashamed of the past, embarrassed to be English.

All you can seem to muster is a few 'tut tut' letters to the local papers or a rant on the internet. Of course, there are a few exceptions. A few brave souls who dare to challenge and try to open other's eyes. To speak the truth.

I thought I had plenty to be angry about when I started my blogosphere 'career'.

Little did I know how bad it is down south. You guys must be foaming at the mouth with rage.

But, who allowed this to happen? Who allowed the erosion of freedom and liberty, the petty rules to creep in, the rise of the socialist utopia experiment that has back fired spectacularly in our faces, (your faces more than our faces).

Who allowed the little hitlers to control your lives? Who allowed them to brand your country's flag as a racist banner? Who allowed it all to go horribly wrong?

You did. The English.

Yes, be angry. Call me a 'Scotch Bastard' (the correct term is actually 'Scots' or 'Scottish' bastard), tell me that we get more from England than we give. Shout at me that the 'Scottish mafia' has controlled English and British politics for over a decade. You'd be right.

But who allows this to happen.

Yes, that's right. You. You let this happen. I say again. YOU!

Be angry at me or my country, but deep down you know it's your own fault.

Grow a set of balls and do something about it. For all our sakes.

Swine flu for liebore candidate?

It has just been reported that the liebore candidate in the Norwich North by election may have swine flu.

Sadly, a planned visit by His Royal Highness, Lord Protector, Supreme Leader and President of everything you bastards, Lord Fondlebum of Boyes was cancelled as a precaution.

The rules of manhood.

The Shortened International Rules of Manhood:

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) Megan Fox decides to venture into pornography.
(b) After wrecking your boss's car.
(c) When your date is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.

4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mates fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mates birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boys choice.

7: On a pub crawl, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

8: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

9: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

10: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

11: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

12: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

13: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

14: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

15: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

16: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

17: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

18: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

19: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

20: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

21: The proper definition of GUTS and BALLS.
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"

I hope this clears up any confusion.

That's gratitude for you!

Our cat, Tigger, has been through the wars of late. The other month he went missing for ten days, and I eventually got him back by crawling under the floor boards of a house across from us. He entered via a missing air brick which was replaced by workmen whilst Tigger was still exploring. His cries for help eventually alerted the old dear who lives in the house and her daughter noticed our 'poster campaign' and contacted us.

Then, last month, he developed a bladder problem. It seems to be a common problem in cats that have been 'fixed'. A visit to the vet and a couple of days of hospitalisation was in order, with a bill in excess of £200.

Now, he is on a special diet. I worked out what it costs to feed him for a month.

The best part of £70 a month. To feed him. A bloody moggie cat!!!!

What gratitude to we get?

Clawed wallpaper and pot shots at our ankles when we have the audacity to walk past him.

Next visit to the vet will be for the 'cheap jag'!


footnote to my wife who may end up reading this - only joking!

Zombie Nation.

'Aww naw, I've loast ma giro'

Yesterday, my good lady and I had to go into town. Bills to pay, stuff to get. I normally try to avoid the torture of walking around the shopping area of town. In fact, I try to avoid the torture of walking anywhere in my town. I was lured there by me thinking that I could, maybe, manage to squeeze in a pint or two. Sadly, I never got my beer...

Anyway, the Missus had to go into the card shop and me being me waited outside whilst having a smoke. I enjoy the pastime known as 'people watching' and I had a good look around, being ever mindful not to be mistaken for a mad staring psycho. Or perhaps being found out AS a mad staring psycho.

Dotted amongst the normal shoppers thronging the pedestrianised streets were the zombies. The waif like frames and the 'screaming skull' appearance are two easy signs for spotting them. Usually they move around in groups of three or four, always in a hurry for some reason. They cannot hold conversation like you and I, they have to shout at each other in that dreadful nasally whine that seems to be the generic voice of the junkie.

There were at least three different groups of them. All in a hurry to get to where they are going. Five minutes later the same group would hurry past you going in the opposite direction from when they passed you the last time. Where are they going? I hope never to find out.

I also noticed a different kind of junkie. The 'couple' junkie. A guy and girl zombiefied combo. Wrapped up in their own wee world, oblivious to everyone around them they shout and argue with each other, sometimes from opposite ends of the street. Now and again they have in their possession a toddler, normally very small for their age and with that 'future junkie' look on the face and a dog which is usually a Staffie cross or similar. The dog always looks better looked after than the child. The guy half of the combo normally waits outside the shop while the girl half goes in to buy or steal whatever it is they are looking for. This is usually because the guy is barred.

And then we have the other type, the junkie mates. Best buddies at the school, they have climbed the junkie ladder together. Easily spotted, they lurk in the doorways of empty shops or behind phone boxes always crouching down on their 'hunkers'. Do not mistake this type for the couple type, as the couple will crouch occasionally too.

There is one thing that all junkies have in common, and this must never be forgotten. You and I fund them and their lifestyle choice. Notice that I use the word 'choice'. The righteous hand wringers would have you believe that these 'people' are victims of society. Nonsense, we are the victims, we are the ones who get robbed directly and indirectly to fund their choice of lifestyle.

But what to do? How do 'we' cure this cancer eating away at our country?

To be honest, I think that the 'powers that be' aren't particularly interested in curing this cancer.

Arthur Daley's Helicopter show room.

One lady owner, low mileage. Bargain, Guvnor...

It's bad enough that our inept, uncaring, disgraceful excuse for a government are failing to provide our troops with enough kit in Afghanistan to do the job, (whatever the job is, I don't have a clue why they are there). We all know that the army does not have enough helicopters to ferry the troops around in relative safety. Instead, the roads are used and our troops are easy pickings for the Taleban and the roadside bombs. We see the results in the hearses plying their way through Wootton Basset.

The helicopter disgrace gains pace every day, the lack of numbers, the many types that we have which cannot cope with the conditions in Afghanistan, the loss of a civilian helicopter which was hired by the M.O.D. for use in Afghanistan.

And now, the latest story -

RAF HELICOPTER WAS MADE FROM 2 OLD CHINOOKS BOLTED TOGETHER

I didn't realise Arthur Daley sold dodgy helicopters as well as dodgy motors.

What a total disgrace.

Fight for Johnnie

<---This way to integrity and decency, this way to corporatism--->

As you all know, Diageo have announced that the Johnnie Walker bottling plant in Kilmarnock is to be closed along with the distillery in Port Dundas, Glasgow.

This is a subject very close to home for me, in fact I live only a ten minute stroll from the site in Kilmarnock and it's 700 employees. Kilmarnock will have no major employers left if Johnnie Walker leaves. The brand started in Kilmarnock, the original Johnnie Walker set up a shop in the town nearly 200 years ago and the business evolved to what it is today.

Now, if the closure was forced because the company is losing money I could understand. But Diageo are raking it in. The closure is happening to due corporate greed. They care not a jot about Kilmarnock or Port Dundas, nor do they care about the generations of workers who have lined their shareholders pockets. I wouldn't normally get involved in any campaign to save a business or site, but this just stinks. They are even hiring temporary workers due to soaring orders.

Show your support. Sign the online petition here or read the online campaign site. (Don't be put off by fat Eck's ugly mug!)

Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power.
Benito Mussolini

For those of you that may be interested, more info on Kilmarnock and it's industrial history can be found here.

Declaration of interest. Kilmarnock is not my home town, we only moved here a couple of years ago and had no intention of staying permanently. To be honest, the town is a dump. But events conspired against us and here we will stay for the rest of our lives.

Homecoming Scotland 2009!

As part of the 'homecoming' celebrations I have uncovered this video of two ex-pats returning home to Glasgow from Canada. Enjoy!

Equal (wanking) rights for all!!

A well thumbed copy of Braille Razzle

Whilst multi-tasking, (watching the golf and perusing the interweb), this little nugget of a story caught my beady eye.

What is interesting about it that it's really a non-story. It looks like the company responsible have issued the usual press release for any new product and the BBC's 'Age and disability correspondent' (yes, they really do have a correspondent covering that, after all the TV licence needs spending), has picked up on it and turned it into a news item. Ticks all the boxes you know.

I wonder how they would describe the money shot?

Let's nail Jacqui Smith

Copied from Old Holborn's place...

£100,000 needed to nail Jacqui Smith

I am a member of the Sunlight Centre for Open Politics and we have decided to nail the bitch Jacqui Smith for being a complete cunt.

Any contribution you might be able to make would be greatly appreciated. Sorry to bother you if you have already donated to the campaign. You can donate via PayPal through the link above (click on the picture). If we can successfully prosecute the former Home Secretary this would be a major step toward cleaning up Westminster and proving to our law makers that they are not above the law.

So put YOUR fucking hands in your pocket for a change, instead of Darling and let's teach the fuckers a lesson. Do it. Do something. Put the fear of fucking 60,000,000 of us into the 646 bastards who run every minutae of our lives for their own bastard benefit.

The Kinnock fantasy

'All hail El Presidente Bliar'

I nearly fell off my chair when I read this story on the Al Jabeeba site. In fact, here is the headline, make sure you have a soft landing...

UK 'backs Blair for EU president'

I have a couple of issues with this 'assumption'. Since when has the EU, (spit), had a president and when were we asked who we would like to be president?

Tony Blair will be the UK's official candidate for EU president, Baroness Kinnock has apparently confirmed.

The post will only be created if the Lisbon Treaty is ratified by all EU states - Ireland is to hold a second referendum in October.

The bitch Kinnock seems a tad presumptious. She is talking as if it is a done deal and is inevitable. Perhaps her and her husbands lavish EU funded lifestyle has tainted her judgement somewhat.

So, here is a little reminder for her. NO to any EU president. NO to closer European ties. NO to giving more power to Europe.

Stupid, stupid bitch.

Welcome to Scotland!

"That'll be £45.99 please..."

My wife and I went out for the day yesterday. The thirteenth of July is a special day for us, for reasons I will not go into here, and it is turning into a tradition for us to go to the same spot.

It's a favourite haunt of the tourist and is only a half hour or so from Glasgow. The contrast a half hour drive makes in the scenery is amazing, and is well worth the drive.

Anyway, it was pissing down with rain most of the time, which didn't dampen our spirits. We had a walk around the wee village and a stroll on the pier. A group of young lads were jumping into the loch and swimming around, very brave considering it wasn't warm and it was raining. When I heard the lads talking it became clear why they didn't care about the rain or the lack of sunshine, they were from Glasgow or thereabouts!

On the way back to the car, (parking charges 80p per hour), we went into a gift shop. Full of the usual tourist/Scottish nonsense you would expect. I had a good look around, noticing the small gift packs of mint creams and ginger chocolates with a label on the front proudly proclaiming 'a gift from Scotland' with no hint of irony about the 'made in Preston, Lancashire' printed on the back of the pack. At £3.50 for a 100g pack, it is a shocking rip off. You can get a pack for a pound in my local Poundland.

My curiosity awakened, I had a good look at the rest of the goods on offer. A pack of petticoat shortbread in plain packaging, £2. In the supermarket it will cost you about 60p for the same. Don't even get me started on the fancier packs of shortbread!

The rip off prices and the foosty (damp) smell in the shop were bad enough, but everywhere I looked signs barked out -

No photography, Thieves will be prosecuted, CCTV in operation, Damages must be paid for,
No mobile phones, Control your children.

A friendly Scottish welcome indeed!

Needless to say, we didn't buy anything. Not that I would buy any of that kind of tat anyway.

Obvious headline of the day.

Scotland tops league for fat dogs

It wasn't until I read the article that I realised that it was about the four legged variety.

Pricks decide to prick us.

"You will just feel a small Gordon. Sorry, I meant prick"

It has been reported that everyone in the UK is to be vaccinated against swine flu.

Two questions spring to mind -

1) Is it 'compulsory'?

2) What will happen to those of us who refuse the vaccination? Quarantine?

Once again, the cynical voice in my head is shouting. Perhaps the 'state' has a cure/vaccine for that.

Interesting stuff

BBC news special, unbiased edition

No BBC News
by GrumpyOldTwat

The above is a collection of news clips with the government/labour spin removed. Enjoy!

Tip of the manky bandage to the talented G.O.T.

The 'T' word rolled out again.

Out to get me!

It would seem that my recent posts about the dead tree press has resulted in a disgusting smear campaign against my good name! It's amazing what you can do with photoshop these days...

*whistles*

(Viewers of a sensitive nature should look away now!)

Sent to Coventry!

I didn't realise that Nick Griffin and Andrew Brons, the two newly elected BNP MEPs, are both representing Coventry!

Seems like the good old 'democracy, but only on my terms' bullshit is still on the agenda!

Tip of the manky bandage to Mark Wadsworth for spotting.

Wake up Britain!

An American christian TV network gives its' own verdict on what's happening in Blighty.

Tip of the manky bandage to Dazed and Confused.

Geert Wilders - "Gordon Brown is a coward".

The following is an interview between Geert Wilders and Euronews. I have highlighted in red some interesting comments made by him about Gorgon Broon.

-----------------------------------------------------

Geert Wilders is the leader of the Freedom Party in the Netherlands, a political group described as “Islamophobic”. The party performed well in the recent European elections. Wilders’ anti-Islamic and anti-EU rhetoric seems to win over more and more Dutch people, mostly those who are scared about immigration and enlargement. euronews interviewed Wilders in a bunker-like meeting room of the Dutch parliament in the Hague. That was said to be for security reasons, because Wilders has been granted special protection due to his controversial anti-Koran movie and provocative anti-Islamic speeches.

euronews: Geert Wilder, welcome to euronews. Are you concerned for the future of Europe?

Wilders: I’m very concerned for the future of Europe. I believe Europe is a beautiful continent with strong countries, but unfortunately, because of the influx of the mass immigration and the Islamisation of our societies, I’m afraid that at the end of the day it will cost us our freedom. So, indeed yes, I’m very concerned.

euronews: Why do you think that Islam is a threat for Europe. What is scaring you?

Wilders: Let me first say, I make a distinction between the ideology, the religion Islam, and the people. I’ve nothing against Muslims, I’ve nothing against people. I have a problem with the Islamic ideology. I believe it’s a totalitarian ideology, that it should not be compared so much with other religions, but with other totalitarian ideologies like communism or fascism. And there is no room in the Islamic ideology for anything else but Islam. And this is what I think that we should really fear.

euronews: Don’t you think that to say that Islam is a totalitarian ideology is dangerous, just from an intellectual point of view? Because we see that Iran for instance is fighting for more democracy and they are Muslim.

Wilders: No, once again, people, I’ve nothing against people, and I acknowledge that there are moderate people who call themselves Muslims, so there are moderate Muslims, and we should invest in moderate Muslims. But I don’t believe in a moderate Islam, I don’t think that like Christianity -the Old Testament and New Testament, and separation of church and state, and enlightment in the last centuries – that this will ever happen in the [sic] Islam, so I think we should not invest or believe in a European or moderate Islam. But of course we should invest in people and we should invest in democracy.

euronews: How should you separate the concept of Islam as a whole, which you say is a totalitarian ideology, a religion, and the single Muslim, that you say he could also be a moderate?

Wilders: I admit that the majority of the Muslims in our western society today are not extremists, they are not terrorists, they are normal people like you and me, and I believe that there’s nothing wrong with that. But I also believe that even though the majority of those Muslims in the western societies today are not extremists or terrorists, that if we will get more of massive immigration we will get also more of the Islamic culture and the Islamic identity and the Islamic ideology in our societies, and then our societies will change: we will have what we are witnessing in the UK today, 85 sharia courts functioning where a woman is less worth than a man, where homosexuals should be killed. I mean this kind of anti-democratic law, sharia, is part of the Islamic ideology, is exactly what is happening in Europe today.

euronews: You have said once that all the Muslim people who want, in Europe, to implement the sharia law must leave Europe. Do you still agree with this statement?

Wilders: I think sharia, the implementation of sharia is the end of democracy. If you believe in sharia, you believe that apostates, that everybody who is not a Christian [sic] should either be a dhimmitude, and he should be living under the rule of Muslims, or either should be killed. The same goes for women or homosexuals. They would have a terrible way of life in a society where sharia is implemented, so I really do believe that if you are in a country and you are in favour of the implementation of sharia that there is very little for you to do. It means that you believe that women are worth less, half, or even more less then man.

euronews: Sorry but no, the sharia law is very clear. The UK Islamic court are not hanging homosexuals.

Wilders: No, but they have a law based on the Koran. And if we start acting like you are suggesting now, if we start saying that, “Hey, it’s only about private law and it’s not really about the penal code, so please let us allow only this part of the sharia in our society” I will tell you that there will be a next step and there will be another step, so I think that we should say: no sharia in our western, free, European and other societies, because if we allow “step A” , however innocent it might look, and I belive it’s not innocent at all, that there will be a next step and another step. And the political elite in the European societies will allow it for politically correct reasons, because they are cultural relativists, they believe that all cultures are equal. Gordon Brown, the Prime minister of the United Kingdom, is the biggest coward of Europe. When he sent me away, when I wanted to enter the UK just to show a movie and to have a discussion in the House of Lords. This is the kind of leaders that we have in Europe today and they should be removed and replaced by more brave leaders.

euronews: That’s a problem of public order at home, also for the British…

Wilders: Only in the UK. He decided, not because there was any threat, because it was not, like I said, I visited many countries for the same reasons, I was welcomed in a very positive way, but the prime minister of the UK was afraid that somebody came and spoke against his views and say something nasty, according to him, against Islam and he feared that. And there was pressure from Islamic people from the House of Lords, so he gave in, he gave in, he gave up. He played again the Chamberlain of Europe of 2009.

euronews: You are against Turkey joining the European Union…

Wilders: For sure…

euronews: Many federalists are against Turkey joining the EU, because they say that it will dilute the EU and the idea of a federal Europe will disappear. So you should be in favour of Turkey joining the EU…

Wilders: I’m against a federal Europe. I want us to stay independent, and Holland to only cooperate in the economical framework, and I’m against the joining of Turkey. I’ve nothing against Turkey, it’s a very respected ally within NATO and a good friend of the Dutch people. But I believe it’s not a member of the family. A good neighbour is not the same as being a member of the family, and it’s an Islamic country. We will not only pay a very high price when it comes to all the costs, all the money that we will have to pay to Turkey, but it’s an Islamic country and will get even more immigration to our societies, which is the last thing that we should need.

euronews: Should you open the doors to Ukraine for instance?

Wilders: No, I think that no other country should join Europe. I’m even in favour of Romania and Bulgaria to leave [sic] the EU. My party voted against the ratification treaty in the Dutch parliament for the accession of Romania and Bulgaria.

euronews: Why? What’s the problem with them?

Wilders: Because first, the Dutch people believe that Europe is large enough. They are against any more countries joining and I share their view. We should have a small Europe with more little tasks, than an enlarged Europe with even more influence. We are against that, and, secondly, I believe that those countries were not ready at all, were very unready and very corrupt as well.

Compare and Contrast

Compare the above video of a 'demonstration' with the one below. Can you spot any differences?




The police and the government are DESPERATE for it all to kick off. And when it does, remember who your enemy REALLY is.

Tip of the manky bandage to Old Holborn

The Phone Tappers and C*nters Social Club.

How much for silence, cobber?

It seems News Group Newspapers, (owned by media megalomaniac Rupert Murdoch), have been very naughty boys and girls indeed.

According to the Guardian, (spit), they have coughed up over £1million in out of court settlements to ensure that the 'journalistic' techniques they use do not become exposed. The payouts ensured suppression of evidence that journalists used private investigators who used illegal means to gather information about the subjects of various 'news' stories, mainly for The Sun and The News of the World.

Andy Coulson, the Boy David's director of communications, was editor of TNOTW at the time.

Oh, and another thing. News International also own The Times, who outed NightJack for no reason whatsoever a few weeks ago.

And the MSM have the cheek to attack the blogosphere?

Excellent stuff...

UPDATE. Good to see the tory side of the blogosphere shitting themselves.

BBC political bias laid bare!!!

tip of the manky bandage to Mish Masher

So the BBC has no political bias? My fat hairy arse they don't.

Bastards.

Open your mind

Video by the excellent mish masher

Site under construction!

I've decided to 'refresh' my site. It's a bit sparse at the moment so bare with me, hopefully all up and running properly by tomorrow sometime.

Any comments about colours etc are welcome.

Anyway, must be tea-break time...

Important stuff, apparently

Generic Labour activist pic

I just had the misfortune to stumble upon the Labourlist site. I notice that sixteen of the last seventeen posts are all about 'LGBT issues'.

Good to see they are on the case of the really big problems facing us today.

What a bunch of complete fucking CRETINS.

That is all.

We're all in this together!

It's about time the NuLieBore and BlueLieBore numpties stopped pretending that there will be very few cuts in public spending in the coming years and either wake up and smell the coffee or (shock) be honest about it.

Steve Bundred, head of the Audit Commission, has spoken out and has urged that ALL public sector workers should have wage freezes, including the sacred cow of health and education workers.

Whilst I would hate to deny anyone a decent salary increase, it's about time the public sector realised that the tax payers cushion that they rest on has become more and more threadbare and they should join us private sector lot who have been left to rest on the 'emergency unexpected guest folding chair' for some time now.

My good self received a salary increase of just over 1% the other month, compared with nearly 3% the year before. Why should the public sector expect an increase higher than this? And why should the tax payer cough up?

Still, good to see the unions still living in cloud cuckoo land -

Chris Keates, general secretary of the NASUWT teaching union, angrily condemned Mr Bundred's call.

"The idea that you have to have some equity of misery, that because the private sector is suffering, the public sector must too is disgraceful.

"What it is doing is not understanding the role of public services in a recession - to sustain and rebuild the economy," he told the newspaper.

I'm still trying to understand how the public sector can 'sustain and rebuild the economy'.

Please don't mis-understand me, I am not 'anti public sector'. We need public services, of course we do. There are a lot of hard working dedicated people in it.

However, there are a lot of hard working dedicated people in the private sector too, and we are all in this mess together. Are we not?

Scrap licence fee, (there is a catch, of course)

Image courtesy of G.O.T.

The Director General, (what kind of self important job title is that?), has 'admitted' that the licence fee (tax) that we pay (unwillingly) to fund the BBC (and the hopeless twats in it) could disappear.

He has suggested a splendid alternative to the licence fee. It could be funded by council tax, income tax or even a levy on the electricity bills we pay.

What a complete oaf. In my opinion, the BBC should stand on it's own two feet, as do the majority of other broadcasters.

The present system only taxes you if you own a television, even though trying to prove otherwise is a nightmare. The proposal being made by the DG is a tax on everyone, regardless if you own a telly or not.

Council officials in massive wank fest

'We have the power, you bastards'

A couple face having their £1 million 'dream' home demolished because they screwed up the planning application.

Council officials in Lancashire are currently high fiving each other and indulging in group masturbatory sessions. Emergency supplies of council tax funded kleenex have been rushed to the town hall.

A grinning council spokesgimp said earlier, "This is what we have been waiting for, fucking magic".

Businessman Colin Walker, who designed his dream home with his wife was overheard asking, "Yards/metres, what's the fucking difference?"

About £1million, apparently.

I know it's your home, but...

Not in this house.

As some of you may be aware, my family home is a council house. I'm not ashamed of this fact, although many people would class me as a failure because I do not own my own home. I've never really bought into the whole 'mortgaged up to the eyeballs' scene and the 'I'm better than you because I have a conservatory and decking' snobbery. The house we live in is a home, nothing else. It's not an investment, it's not security held against the second 4x4 or the second holiday each year. If it's your bag, fair enough. Who am I to rain on your parade? As long as you are happy and all that.

Anyway, I digress.

The point that my feeble post is meandering towards is thus-

We received a letter today from my landlord, (the much hated council), informing us that we are to receive new front and back doors. The doors we currently have are way beyond their lifespan and I asked some months ago why every council house in the street had new doors except our house, (is it because I am the only working, rent paying and council tax paying resident?). No, no of course not. Just an oversight, an administrative error. Fair enough, I say. Would it be the same administrative error that caused every council house in the street to get new fitted kitchens and bathrooms, except our house. No, no of course not, that was another error. (We got our new kitchen and bathroom last year, after all the 'poor' households).

I digress again.

In the letter, and I quote, is this passage -

To comply with The Smoking, Health and Social Care (Scotland) Act 2005 and The Prohibition of Smoking in Certain Premises (Scotland) Regulations 2006, we ask for your co-operation and that of your friends and family whilst Building and Works operatives are in your home, by refraining from smoking and where possible to refrain from smoking one hour prior to a scheduled visit by our operatives.

I note that they have not indicated a time for their intended visit.

So, they are now telling me what I cannot do in my own home and that I need to be psychic.

I am a smoker, and I enjoy it. It's bad enough being made a social outcast at the best of times without the bastards telling me what to do in my own home.

Fuck them. On that day I will be chain-smoking and the cat will be smoking a pipe.

(tip of the manky bandage to Angry Old Man for the pic)

I bet that any private contractors visiting private homes to carry out work do not dare to come out with crap like this.

Stick it where 'The Sun' doesn't shine!.

The rotting corpse of a dead tree, with some tits on page 3

Batten down the hatches, oh fellow bloggers and bloggerettes. The phoney war is over and the shooting war is about to begin.

The dead tree press are clearly feeling threatened and are now lashing out at the blogosphere.

Gorgon the Gormless

Gordon Brown Mr Zero Percent
by GrumpyOldTwat



Dear Leader keeps on demonstrating his degree in fuckwittery.

What a loon.

Tip of the manky bandage to the talented G.O.T.

Government to totally fuck up public transport

I'm sure they will run the trains better than they have run the country...

The east coast main line between Edinburgh and London is to be state run, it was announced earlier.

I don't know about you, but there is no chance of me using a train service that the hopeless bastards in government are 'managing'.

Maybe Gordon and his chums want to play choo choos before the bigger boys take all the toys off them next year.