Thursday, April 15, 2010

Fat Eck to save the World. Except England.

The First Minister regretted eating that pakora last night.

I nearly dropped my deep fried pizza supper when I read the following from the BBC news site's 'live' volcanic ash updates.

1300 From the BBC's Kirsten Campbell at the Scottish Parliament: Scotland's First Minister has set up an emergency response group to deal with the volcanic ash incident and the resultant disruption to Scottish airports. Alex Salmond will chair a meeting of what's called the Scottish Government Resilience Room. Ministers and officials will gather this morning and then again this afternoon to discuss arrangements to deal with the situation.

As I look out of my window, (I'm thought of as quite well to do in Kilmarnock as my house has windows made of glass rather than the standard plywood), I see a clear, blue sky as far as the eye can see. And what the fuck is a 'resilience room'? Sounds like some sort of sex dungeon for masochists.

I suppose having a meeting is better than doing nothing at all. Oh, wait...


subrosa said...

Now now Rab, volcanic ash is dangerous stuff. Scotland will be first in line as they say it's coming south.

Doesn't England have enough folk to look after their bit of it? ;)

RantinRab said...

I just like having a pop at Eck. I can't help myself!

The Young Oligarch said...

"Quick , Nicola !
To the Resilience Room !"

Anonymous said...

I reckon Scotland might see some amzing sunsets.
If it's not cloudy.
But not so good in England.
Not even Corby.
Shame , eh !

RantinRab said...

'Red sky at night, Kilmarnock's alight.

Red sky in morning, Shortlee's burning'.

TheBigYin said...

Via Obo Rab:

As British airspace was closed following the eruption of an Icelandic volcano, there were fears that Europe was once again isolated.

As the cloud of fine white particles began to drift over Cheshire, Iceland said that it may yet be forced to recall Kerry Katona, who could probably get it all up her left nostril in a single snort.

Comenting on these reports, Ms Katona said, “That’s why mums go to Iceland”.

Icelandic spokesman Shagyar Dottirson denied that the eruption was a release of the pent up feelings of Icelandic citizens annoyed at the EU’s stance over the collapse of their banks, and said he could give no indication of when Europe would cease to be isolated.

Meanwhile, Europe’s isolation looked set to continue as a spokesman for Eurostar said it had all 8 of its trains stuck in the Channel Tunnel due to an electrical fault caused by the wrong type of dust.

Weather forecasters expect the ash cloud to persist for several days. A European Commission spokesman said in Brussels that they were fearful of the effects of not being able to transport British cash to Europe for a period of up to 48 hours, but said emergency arrangements were in place to ensure that the wholesale robbery of British taxpayers could continue unabated as soon as their isolation ceased.

"Luckily, no-one will ever know, as there is a general election campaign in Britain at the moment. There's no danger of any discussion about the EU", he said.

President of the European Council Herman van Rompuy said, “I don’t like the British anyway, but not having access to British taxpayers pockets on a daily basis is inconvenient. We may have to stop wasting cash for a few days. On the plus side, it means Baronness Ashton can’t get here.”

Chuckles said...

Rab, you really must pay attention to the memos and lectures. 'Reaction Room' was far too masculine, harsh and well, reactionary. Sort of threat of violence and al that.

So while they were doing the re-branding exercise and the five year plan, they decided that a 'resilience room' was much better, and conveyed the 'right sort' of attitude, to the 'wrong sort' of problem, er challenge, er opportunity.

It flexes, it bends, it accommodates, it abides, it ticks all the right boxes for the touchy-feely.

Bet I've got it down pat.

Joe Public said...

Bloody Global Warming.

cynicalHighlander said...

Its ok the swine flu jag has been renamed to protect against all sudden eruptions caused by exposure to continuing debt, no MPs need to worry as they have natural immunity once elected.

Dazed And Confused said...

Top story on BBC news at six o clock...Gordon must be doing really badly then, for them to abandon his cause so fucking soon.