'The Labour family'

Tip of the manky bandage to Dazed n Confused

Minimum booze pricing on the cards

£3 worth of lager

Once again, the SNP government have announced more plans to 'save' Scotland from itself by more nanny like meddling. Hot on the heels of the new licensing laws they have announced plans for legislation that will set a minimum price for alcoholic drinks.

There is no doubt that Scotland has a huge problem with booze. It's no secret that we like a small refreshment. But 'taxing' the problem will not make it go away. Countless awareness and educational campaigns spouting the evils of the demon drink have had limited, if any, success.

So the last chance saloon, (pardon the pun), is to hit everyone in the pocket.

The public relations campaign has been underway for sometime and support for the initiative has came from the brewers. Of course they support it. Their profits will increase as they will not be at the mercy of the supermarket buyers who constantly demand more and more special offers. Anybody who thinks that supermarkets pay for the promotions themselves as a 'loss leader' is living in cloud cuckoo land. The suppliers pay for everything. So it is only natural that the suppliers will support anything that will increase their bottom line.

Of course, the medical profession have also backed the idea.

I very much doubt that minimum pricing will have any effect anyway. Many will start to brew their own beer and others will search for another vice to help them through their tedious life.

So, what's next from Nanny? We've had the smoking ban and the new licensing laws. Constant campaigns to encourage us to eat our 5 a day, exercise more, stop beating the wife and kids etc etc bombard us every day.

And where is the money going that will be raised and what will it be spent on?

And for those of you south of the border, give it a couple of years and you'll have it as well. After all, we are the testing ground.


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Where do we draw the line?

The story from Holland about the young girl who wants to sail around the world by herself has got me thinking.

As a Libertarian, I am all for zero interference from the state. We should all live our lives as we see fit along with a healthy portion of personal responsibility.

Parents should, of course, be responsible for their children. There is no debate about that. But what if the parents are not capable or abdicate their responsibilities. Who will take over then?

The girl in question has parents and has, in all probability, been brought up to be a decent human being. But she is only thirteen and she wants to sail around the world by herself and her parents have given permission. The result of this is that she is now subject to child protection laws in the Netherlands, for her own safety.

My personal view is that if she were to attempt sailing solo around the world, she will almost certainly face death. I am no sailing expert, but I imagine sailing around the world in a small boat powered by sheets of canvas would be extremely dangerous.

So, I think that she should not try it. Her parents should not have given their permission, (in my view), but they did. It is clear that most people share my view.

Thus the question. If not the state, who would step in and protect this child from herself? If the state did not step in and the girl set off and came to grief, would the parents face charges?

So, where do we draw the line between state interference in our everyday life and state intervention to 'protect' it's citizens? Is it, or should it be, a duty of the state to protect us and if not who or what will?

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Би-Би-Си

'Welcome to the Six o'clock news from the BBC'

A selection of headlines from various sites, can you guess which one is from the BBC? You know, the BBC, our 'national' broadcaster and shining example of everything unbiased.

'Gordon Brown's tax credits trap poor in benefit culture'

'The jobless generation. A sixth of homes have nobody in work'

'Tories continue welfare attacks'

'1.9 million kids live in workless home'

I'm sure you guessed correctly. It is, of course, the third headline.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting to the end of my tether with the bastard BBC and the stupid leftie socialist student like crap they continually pump out at our expense.

Everything they do, from children's programmes to the news and everything in-between, has the taint of socialist brain washing. I honestly think the whole organisation is being run by a bunch of brain dead champagne socialist students who only joined the LieBore party to 'annoy Daddy' and every opportunity is taken to promote their left wing fantasy to the great un-washed.

Why is this blatant bias allowed to happen? Why has the BBC, once globally respected and something for Britain to be proud of, allowed itself to be the whore of LieBore. The party propaganda machine that is the 'spin' section of the government has it's tentacles well and truly wrapped around the state broadcaster.

We all know that the rest of the media has it's own particular political alignment. That's fine, that's between them and their viewers/readers. You pays your money and you take your choice. But the BBC is our state broadcaster. We are all forced to pay for it's output. And for it to abuse it's position in such a disgraceful manner is simply staggering.

Just what percentage of the population still trust and believe everything the BBC say? That's the scary thing and the LieBore spin machine and their lap dogs within the BBC know it and abuse it mercilessly to further their own agenda.

It's wrong on so many levels and it needs to stop, now.

Link to the BBC version of the story here.

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We look after our own...

click to enlarge

"President Obama was leading the tributes, saying that Senator Kennedy was the greatest US senator of our time.

But the praise was coming from right across the political divide. The Republicans were also praising him, saying that he was the kind of man that you couldn't help but like even if you disagreed with him.

That kind of praise has been echoing across the morning shows - they all broke into special coverage of the kind that is normally reserved for when former presidents die.

But of course all of the coverage has also included the controversies in Edward Kennedy's life, not least of all the death of Mary Jo Kopechne at Chappaquiddick bridge in 1969."

Pic courtesy of Mr Ishmael

A wee reminder for any cops in London today.

A handy 'cut out and keep' guide to Robert Peel's nine points of policing for any officers dealing with the 'climate camp'.

• The basic mission for which the police exist is to prevent crime and disorder.

• The ability of the police to perform their duties is dependent upon public approval of police actions.

• Police must secure the willing co-operation of the public in voluntary observance of the law to be able to secure and maintain the respect of the public.

• The degree of co-operation of the public that can be secured diminishes proportionately to the necessity of the use of physical force.

• Police seek and preserve public favour not by catering to public opinion but by constantly demonstrating absolute impartial service to the law.

• Police use physical force to the extent necessary to secure observance of the law or to restore order only when the exercise of persuasion, advice and warning is found to be insufficient.

• Police, at all times, should maintain a relationship with the public that gives reality to the historic tradition that the police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full-time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence.

• Police should always direct their action strictly towards their functions and never appear to usurp the powers of the judiciary.

• The test of police efficiency is the absence of crime and disorder, not the visible evidence of police action in dealing with it.

EU membership subs increase by 60%

'Ker-ching!'

From next year the cost of the UK's contribution to the EU is to increase by 60% to £6.4 billion.

That's £6,400,000,000. Or £240 per household, every household including the non tax paying households.

But what really gets me is the quote from the treasury -

The Treasury said it was right for the UK "to share the burden of membership with new accession countries".

I beg to differ. As Snowolf correctly points out,

I don't know who the Perm. Sec. at the Treasury is, but I'm betting he's a member of a golf club. Does this mean that if I join his club he'll stand my membership fees? He should also be aware that I have no interest in the rules of golf and no intention of abiding by those rules and will just spend all day poncing drinks off the other members whilst moaning about how terrible things were for me twenty years ago.

In typical Socialist fashion, rather than trying to 'raise the bar' in those 'poorer' countries and encourage them to get themselves up there to the top table, the law of averages is applied and the top standard is diluted and those at the top now find themselves punished for no good reason.

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Racist pigs!!!

'I regret to inform you that your membership application has been unsuccessful'

Take a look at the following which has been copied from the official site of the Gloucestershire Constabulary.

Membership Requirements

• Full membership Open to all black Police Officers, Civilian Support Staff and Special Constables directly employed by the Gloucestershire Constabulary.
• Associate Membership Open to all Police Civilian Support Staff and Special Constables who are directly employed by Gloucestershire Constabulary, but ineligible for full membership.
• Friends of the BPA All other interested parties who are not directly employed by Gloucestershire Constabulary.

Just a thought, isn't it illegal? And who are 'Friends of the BPA '?

Tip of the manky bandage to Byrne Tofferings

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Boycott the Jock bastards!

'Simpletonville, Arkansas'

Have a look at this.

It seems that Cletus and his Wife/Sister have started a campaign to make Scotland 'pay' for releasing the Lockerbie bomber.

I suggest we start a similar campaign against all things American.

Let's start by not being dumb fucks and using our brain. That's Un-American!

Update - Join in the 'debate' here. (Cheers Scunnert)

Update 2 - This comment caught my eye. Remember it when you book your holiday for next year.

maybe it is time for the american people themselves to start terrorizing european nationals here, give them a taste of their own medicine. and any time any of your filthy scottish vermin want to play ball, we willplay, but remember americans own guns are will use them.



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Everyone's a winner...

The whole Lockerbie Bomber being released saga has been buzzing around my empty head since yesterday.

I've came to the conclusion that everyone is a winner except the truth and the victims and their families. Let's take a look at the winners,

The Scottish Government -

Winners of taking the moral high ground and being able to play politics with the big boys with the added bonus of saying 'fuck off' to the USA. Winners of being able to say 'we can take tough decisions when it matters and look at the size of my dick'. Even though they done what they were told to do.

The UK Government -

Winners of saying 'nothing to do with us Guv, it's the porridge wogs decision. Scots law and devolved politics and all that'. Then being able to benefit from better trading links with Libya.

British Petroleum -

Winners of being able to proceed with the agreement struck with Libya in 2007 without being pissed around by Libyan bureaucracy.

The US Government -

Winners of blaming the Scottish Government whilst sharing in the outrage of the American people, most of which couldn't pinpoint America on an atlas, never mind Scotland or Libya. Saves them getting their hands dirty in order to share the oil spoils.

The British taxpayer -

Winners of not having to pay for the incarceration of the bomber and his medical care.

The Lockerbie Bomber -

For obvious reasons.

All politicians except the SNP -

Winners of waiting to see what the backlash would be before spouting what most of the country wants to hear.

If you think of any other 'winners' feel free to add them in the comments.

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Black Gold makes the world go round.

The Scottish Government?

BP, the oil giant, signed a deal with Libya in 2007 to explore for gas in the west of the country and offshore. But since then it has faced a string of bureaucratic obstacles, including delays securing official permits and approvals to import equipment through Libyan customs, the sources said.

They added that BP’s work programme, conducting geological studies on the Sitre basin, an offshore block the size of Belgium, had been hit by delays securing official paperwork for the next scheduled phase of work. “Now that al-Megrahi is released, BP expects to get the go-ahead,” said one source in Libya.

-----------------------

Lord Mandelson met Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi's son a week before reports the Libyan man convicted of the Lockerbie bombing could be freed.

The Labour peer spoke briefly about the case with Saif al-Islam Gaddafi while on holiday in Corfu, it has emerged.

But Lord Mandelson's spokesman said subsequent reports of Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi's possible release from jail were "entirely coincidental".

-----------------------

Britain's second biggest oil refinery – employing 800 full-time staff at the Stanlow site near Ellesmere Port in Cheshire – could be sold off by the Shell oil group.

The company confirmed last night that a review of the plant's ownership was under way, but denied that there were any plans to close the 173-acre facility, which has processed oil for 60 years and accounts for roughly 20% of Britain's petrol production.

Competitors – including the Libyan National Oil Company, in partnership with the Indian mobile phone firm Essar – are among the potential buyers of the plant, which may be auctioned with two Shell refineries in Germany.

---------------------

The Lockerbie Bomber is released for 'compassionate' reasons. The UK government deny any interference.

I would say that in this case 2 + 2 most definitely equals 5.


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Compare and Contrast.

The United States Authorities response to today's release of the Lockerbie Bomber, -

"The interests of justice have not been served by this decision," U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, the top U.S. justice official, said in a statement.

"There is simply no justification for releasing this convicted terrorist whose actions took the lives of 270 individuals, including 189 Americans."

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and the White House also expressed dismay. Clinton called the bombing a "heinous crime" and said Washington had lobbied to keep Megrahi behind bars.

"We have continued to communicate our long-standing position to U.K. government officials and Scottish authorities that Megrahi should serve out the entirety of his sentence in Scotland," she said in a statement.

The United States Authorities response to the shooting down of a Iranian airliner by the USS Vincennes in 1988, killing all on board including 66 children, -

...the crew of the Vincennes was awarded Combat Action Ribbons for having actively participated in ground or surface combat, and the captain received the Legion of Merit.






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Breathe.....

Breathe
by Hopespringseternal

Tip of the manky bandage to Dazed N Confused.

Viz Top Tips, an occasional series.

LOSE weight quickly by eating raw pork or rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning/diarrhea enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.


SMELL gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.


TAKE your dustbin to the supermarket with you so that you can see which items you have recently run out of.

HOUSEWIVES. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.

An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

Set up your own country!

Official Motto -
Gordon Brown can go fuck himself.

What a brilliant story this is.

Imagine it, setting up your own little country. Living your life the way you want to, without interference and meddling from the 'authorities'.

The tiny nation surrounded by the sea has been invaded by the Germans and the Dutch, (honest), and was re-taken by helicopter assault. It's like living your very own adventure.

It's up for sale at £600 million if you're interested.

Or we could all chip in a tenner each and send Gordon and the rest to live out their retirement six miles off the coast. With no boats or helicopters.

Sounds like a plan...

A Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the SNP

Featuring a young (and slim) Fat Eck!


Unashamedly stolen from The Party's Over

OUR money kills OUR soldiers.

'We must thank the British tax payer for our shiny new rocket launchers, Abdul'

Yes, you read it correctly. Money that is pumped into Afghanistan as 'aid' in order to rebuild the country is skimmed off and ends up in the grubby paws of the Taliban who use the money to kill our soldiers.

What a completely insane world we live in.

Here's an idea. Give Afghanistan nothing. Zero. Fuck all.

Bring our soldiers home. Let the Afghanis get on with it themselves.

Drug problem? Destroy the poppy fields.

Terrorist problem? A few daisycutters directed at the appropriate caves.

Threat to British Armed Forces? Zero.

Sorted.

Real life Sat Nav

You have arrived at your destination....insanity.

Coming soon to a shop near you. The new Sat Nav with a fantastic new feature. A quick browse of the menu and a prod at the touch screen and you are in 'partner' mode. Select your gender and away you go! Men, press the 'missus' button straight away you think your other half is sitting in the passenger seat.

Phrases include -

'You're going to fast, slow down a bit it's not a race'.

'Just stop and ask someone for christ sake, it doesn't make you less of a man'.

'Ooooh, that car is a nice colour'.

'Look at the state of her, doesn't she look in the mirror before she leaves the house'.

As a special bonus, this feature also includes a 'generic ramblings' option. It spouts un-interesting nonsense that you can safely ignore. However, to test your 'man skills', it will pause now and again to ensure that you grunt or agree with the rambling nonsense spouted by the Sat Nav, to ensure you never screw up when actually 'listening' to your missus.

To cater for the female driver, there is also a 'my bloke' option. Selected phrases with this option include, -

'For fuck sake, they're at amber'.

'Your in the wrong fucking lane, woman'.

'Where the fuck did he get his licence, a lucky bag'.

'Look at the state of that cunt'.

'Jesus Christ, look at the state of that Corsa, it looks like it ram raided Halfords'.

'It's a fucking 40, you're only doing 30'.

Included in this feature are bodily function sounds.

Upgrade your Sat Nav by purchasing downloadable extras such as 'Kids fighting in the back' and 'Grandfather moaning that the music is too loud'.

Bargain!

Moaning bastards!

'Kerching'

As part of my duties on the night shift as the 'Duty Night Manager' I need to close and then in the morning re-open the petrol filling station. All it basically means is that I set the alarm and lock up, whilst ensuring the 'closedown' has went okay and in the morning open up, unset the alarm and hand the keys over to the staff and make sure the site is ready for trade. If any shit hits any fan, I need to deal with it until the day managers arrive then they can deal with it because I have a shop to get ready for trade and a deadline to meet, which is non-negotiable.

Whilst closed, numerous vehicles drive onto the forecourt, (we used to cone off the entrance but the cones were stolen), stop at the pumps and try to dispense fuel. The fact that all the shutters are down, pumps are switched off and I am standing there waiting for the alarm to set does not put them off. They wrestle with the pump nozzle as it is locked and then look over at me. I ignore them.

I used to shout over that the petrol station is closed, but years of being ignored or muttered at has taken it's toll. Being informed that it is 'fucking ridiculous' to have the cheek to end trade for the day gets a bit tedious. It doesn't bother me, I just ignore the bastards now.

The point I am driving at, (geddit?), is that it's not my fault that they have been unable to fit in to their hectic day the ability to come for fuel within the 15 hour window of opportunity that exists every day. I'm a big boy, I can handle it. As I have said, it doesn't bother me.

What does bother me though is the abuse the girls behind the counter are getting because the price of petrol and diesel is creeping up again. They are getting sworn at regularly and the usual 'horses arse' brigade complain loudly with the inevitable conclusion that they are going to 'write to head office'. Feel free you morons, write away if it makes you feel any better.

What's it going to be like when the price jumps up due to the rise in duty? Predictions for £1.20 per litre by Christmas are doing the rounds.

Instead of directing anger at the employees, they should be getting mad at the 646 bastards who allowed this to happen. Perhaps I will make a sign to put on the counter.

It's not our fault the price has jumped up.
Don't get mad at us, get mad at them.
They think you are a cunt.

Have a nice day, please call again.

Just what is going on?

Hmm, must think of evil plan...

It appears that Lord Fondlebum, supreme ruler of UKplc had spoken to General Gaddafi's son whilst on holiday as a guest of the Rothschild family.

Fast forward a week or so and the media is full of stories about the probable release of the Lockerbie bomber.

He apparently spoke briefly about the Lockerbie bomber's possible release from jail and the timing of the conversation is just a 'coincidence'.

Yeah, my big fat hairy arse it is.

Who the fucking hell does this bastard think he is?

Interestingly, it seems only the Biased Broadcasting Corporation are running the story, why? A quick scan of other sites show no sign of the story. (I had a quick look at Sky, Daily Mail and the Telegraph).

I smell a rat.

Gordon Brown - Pretty Vacant

Tip of the manky bandage to Dazed N Confused

Total politics top 20 Libertarian Blogs

Some twat called Oscar...

Courtesy of a certain Mr Furious the following is a list of the top twenty Libertarian blogs as voted by the readers of the Blogosphere.

Click on the links and have a look around.

Well done to all and thanks for voting for me, it's great for my blogging ego to see my blog on a list! And before anyone says anything, I know at the start of voting I said it was a load of shit and I wouldn't be voting or participating, but I'm allowed to be two faced now and again!

1. Guido Fawkes
2. Devil's Kitchen
3. Old Holborn
4. Obnoxio the Clown
5. Underdogs Bite Upwards
6. Tim Worstall
7. Samizdata
8. Boatang & Demetriou - highly recommended
   
9. Dick Puddlecote
10. LPUK Blog
11. Last Ditch
12. Constantly Furious
13. Anna Raccoon
14. Freedom to Choose
    
15. Rantin' Rab
16. Plato Says
17. Charles Crawford
18. An Englishman's Castle
19. Frank Davis
20. Oxford Libertarian Society

Tubby speaks....

UPDATE, Fot those of you with a bit of 'video' talent, this is ripe for a bit of 'creative editing'. What do you think? Monkey noises with subtitles?

Have some music.

Working all weekend again, can't be arsed to write anything so have a bit of Marillion instead.

Why won't they just say it?

'CLEAR'

This morning the boy David, (leader of BlueLabour), commented on the NHS. "It's incredibly important to me and my family" and that he believed in it "100 per cent".

Shadow Health Secretary Andrew Lansley goes one step further,

"There are millions of people who are grateful for the care they have received from the NHS.

"It does them and the NHS a disservice for Daniel Hannan to give Americans such a negative and partial view. That we can access healthcare free at point of use, based on need, is something others envy.

"Our task is to ensure that the quality of care is consistently excellent. And the service is efficient and responsive to patients. Choice, competition and information, focused on outcomes, will deliver this".

So it looks like the upper echelons of the Tory party are trying to pull the rug from under Dan Hannan. Why?

What is it with the NHS that makes it such a political 'untouchable'? We all know it is flawed and there are other far superior schemes in other countries.

How refreshing would it be for one of the mainstream parties to state the truth. They don't have to criticise, I don't think the sheeple are ready for the brutal truth, just tell it like it is.

update - may I direct you to CF's rather excellent post

Gissa job! (not)

'Don't gissa job'

Via cartermagna, have a look at this and marvel in the complete absurdity of it all. The comments are particularly, ahem, entertaining. Particularly the comments from 'Wes' who seems to think sitting on his arse claiming benefits is a protest against the invasion of Iraq.

Feeling angry? Good. So am I.

Perhaps arseholes like Wes should be forced to watch Boys from the Blackstuff. And then count their (tax payer funded) blessings.

Genius from the Daily Mash

NORTHERN FOLK TERRIFIED BY ANGRY SKY MAGIC

PEOPLE across northern England fled in panic last night claiming the 'cloud gods were shooting darts of angry fire across the sky'.

'Thor and Jesus are clealy not happy'

Emergency services from Carlisle to Middlesbrough were stretched to breaking point as thousands of soot-smeared villagers used their 'sorcerer's talking boxes' to phone the fire brigade.

But the exhausted crews were unable to keep up with demand as they dashed across the region, directing their hoses upwards in a bid to stop the clouds from bursting into flames.

A Home Office spokesman said: "Their natural reaction is to phone 999 as most Northerners believe the sky to be no more than 30ft high.

"You would think that the firemen would tell them not to worry, but of course northern firemen are still Northerners."

Meanwhile, south of Peterborough, the phenomenon was attributed to the Perseid meteor shower.

Cambridge astronomer Tom Logan said: "It is an annual astronomical event caused by debris from the Swift-Tuttle comet disintegrating in the upper reaches of the Earth's atmosphere. But of course to a Northerner, I may as well have said all that in Mandarin Chinese."

He added: "They're really just children. Unfortunately they're also huge, drunk children who will fling an old woman onto a bonfire if they think her cat is up to no good."

Stephen Malley, the deputy leader of Northallerton District Council, said: "The gods have tested us tonight, but I am glad to say our brave firemen were up to the task and the sky remains intact.

"However, it is clear that we have angered our invisible cloud masters and they must now be appeased with an extended period of sacrificial blood letting. I suggest we start with the poofters."

Viz Top Tips, an occasional series

SINGLE men: Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

I hate my neighbours.

Yes, I hate my neighbours. Not all of them, most I just look at with a sneer. The neighbours to one side of me are fine, not a peep from them. I admit that I do not know their names, but that's modern life I suppose.

Now, the neighbours to the other side of us are a different matter. They haven't really done anything to piss me off, it's all a combination of small things. Plus they seem to have a better standard of living than us without the inconvenience of having to work.

When we moved into our house at the beginning of last year we did so with some trepidation. We needed a house quickly as we were living in a private let. Very nice and quiet it was too, but too expensive. We applied for a council house and got offered one fairly quickly. When the offer came through we jumped into the car armed with a street map of the town, (we are not 'locals'), and searched for the street. First impressions were not good. The street was and still is a dump. Inhabited by the zombiefied living dead flotsam of the benefit system.

The house itself is good, a spacious layout, plenty of cupboards, large rooms and decent sized garden with off road parking. It's great, (although desperately needing some decent decorating which I would normally have done by now, but we have reasons for not doing so, perhaps one day I will blog on the reasons why), but the area is not. If the town we live in can be compared to a human being, our street would be the arsehole.

Nobody bothers us directly, because we do not bother anyone else. And that's the way we like it.

Back to the subject of my ejaculation. The neighbours 'through the wall'.

Both households have the same amount of people living in it. My household is a 'working' household. They are not. They have a bigger TV than us and a sky dish. They enjoy getting pissed several times a week, I rarely drink. They manage to overfill two wheeliebins, we barely fill our sole wheelie bin. We own a Ford Escort, they own a souped up Vauxhall Vectra with a big noisy fuck off exhaust system. The local kebab shop delivery service is a frequent visitor to their door.

In their back garden, which is separated from ours by a four foot high wire fence, sits two old cars. Both are 'works in progress' although the lazy bastard is never near them. Two large German Shepard dogs inhabit the garden for most of the day and late into the night, barking at everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. They are never exercised and one is aggressive, particularly towards children. During hot sunny days normally the scent of barbeque's is what you would expect. Not us, our nostrils are assaulted with the smell of sun baked dog shit.

They bark all day long and late into the night. No effort is made to stop them by their 'owners'. I have came to the conclusion that they are deaf. They must be! It's the dogs that really get on my tits. I'm not a cruel person, but I would easily beat them to death with a baseball bat, swiftly followed by the neanderthal owner. I know it's not the dog's fault, but the constant barking grates on your nerves. It's affecting the quality of our lives. My wife's eight year old brother cannot play in our back garden, the dogs go bananas. The neighbours do nothing.

We don't really speak to the neighbours. When we moved in I tried to strike up a conversation, but all I got back was a grunt and a mongified expression. At least I tried. I doubt any conversation about their dogs will have the desired outcome.

We hope to move as soon as we can. We are expecting the patter of tiny feet and I do not want to bring up kids in this environment.

You know what the really sad thing is? I am not unique. The same is repeated countless times in every town and city. The country is inhabited by selfish, self absorbed people who have no idea of the impact they are having on others. Bastards.

The true voice of socialism.

Have a look here, then take a look at Tory Bears view.

I am not commenting, but I am posting a comment from the first link. Says it all really....

....but as a socialist, power is in itself an important part of my principles.

Tom Miller @ 10:39 am, Tue 11th Aug 2009

Are you a psycho?

Do you have psychopathic tendencies? An American professor of nutology, (or something), carried out research years ago which included interviewing all the serial killers in American prisons. He asked them to answer a question, to which ALL the killers gave the same answer. Thus, if you give the same answer you pretty much have psychopathic tendencies.

A friend asked me the question some time ago and apparently I was the only one to give the 'right' answer....

So, please give your response to the following in the comments and I will let you know who the psychopaths are! If you already know if this, don't be a knob and spoil it for others, I may hunt you down and murder you. After all, I am a bit of a psycho.

Right, answer the following,

A woman attends her Mother's funeral. Whilst there, she meets a man and falls in love. Love at first sight, if you will.

At the end of the funeral, he leaves without giving her his contact details.

A week later, the woman murders her sister.

Why?

A man who talks sense

Read THIS, now.

I said NOW dammit!!

Be careful who you add on facebook....

Dumb bitch deserves the sack!!

And so it begins...

Tip of the manky bandage to, (once again), Dazed and Confused

The video above is footage from the trouble in Birmingham yesterday. Notice the amount of polis running around. Notice the vox pop from one of the, (for want of a better description), ethnics. Notice that there is no vox pop from any white person. Notice how the BNP are blamed.

So, is this the beginning of the long awaited 'Summer of Rage'?

Gary Nichols watched the disturbances from his city centre flat and said he was unable to go outside for about two and a half hours.

He told the BBC: "It started off with a group of white guys who were chanting, 'England, England'. I thought they were just football fans, but then a larger group of black and Asian people turned up and it all kicked off.

"You had people burning the Union flag. People were being kicked - some of them weren't anything to do with the protests. It all seemed to be very systematic - groups were arriving in cars and getting involved in the violence."

Tip of the manky bandage to Cato for the above quote.

Apparently the odius Unite against Fascism was involved. Here's hoping they got a doing.

The dreams of my father - President Obama

tip of the manky bandage to Dazed and Confused

The SNP - political thrush

SNP party political broadcast

I have no time for the SNP. I'm sure it comes as no surprise to most of you.

I have no issue with anyone wanting 'independence'. Independence is a good thing, for everyone. However, the SNP version of independence concerns me. 'An independent Scotland within Europe' rings a bell, (feel free to correct me if I am wrong, I can't be bothered checking any facts. Collect your refund on the way out etc etc). So, as far as the SNP is concerned, it's goodbye London and hello Brussels. So, it's not really independence then, is it? But as long as the bastard English have been told where to get off, that's all that matters, eh....

They are even more Nanny State than NuLieBore. We are cajoled and pushed around to the whim of the socialist, (and they are socialists, big time), mantra. Unable to think for ourselves apparently, we are constantly told that we drink to much, have poor diet, don't take enough exercise and are incapable of being good parents. The amount of Scottish Government adverts on TV/radio and in the press is simply staggering. Stupid schemes to 'rectify' our national ills are launched, a recent example being the minimum pricing for alcohol nonsense. It won't 'cure' the problem, but they must be seen to be doing something. And being politicians the only thing they can come up with is making us pay more for our swally. If you have had the misfortune to read some of the more rabid pro SNP blogs, you would be forgiven for thinking that you had stumbled into a Labourlist socialist wank fest. Any dissenting comments are put down with the usual socialist tactic of mockery and smugness.

But what really gets to me with the SNP is that they take advantage of the politically naive. You see Fat Eck on the telly spouting some drivel about 'our oil' and taking control of 'our destiny' and the impressionable wanna be freedom fighters puts the X next to the SNP candidates name come election time. I can't believe people actually fall for all the bullshit they spout. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of your country, being a proud Scot. But who gave the SNP sole right to the 'proud Scot' badge? They have hi-jacked it to serve their own needs.

Scotland desperately needs more 'pro-independence' parties. It shouldn't be the sole property of one party, a socialist kneejerk party. The SNP are more dangerous than NuLieBore.

SNP - Political Thrush. SNP - Irritating Twats.

Viz Top Tips, an occasional series...

Bus drivers. Pretend you're an airline pilot by wedging your accelerator pedal down with a heavy book, securing the steering wheel with some old rope, and then strolling back along the bus chatting casually to the passengers.

How not to get a police beating...

Tax credits, keeping the plebs down.

I've mentioned the following subject once or twice in the past, but current 'goings on' at work has brought the subject to the top of my 'things to get pissed off about' list.

I'm talking about tax credits. Or to give it the correct NuLieBore code name, 'let's not encourage people to better themselves because they may start thinking for themselves and we wouldn't want that now because they may realise what a bunch of arses we really are'. It's closely related to the 'let's give money to the idle workshy' and 'let us, the state, take responsibility for everything in your pathetic existence'.

To my overseas reader, tax credits basically means that the government will 'top up' the wages of the low paid. They top up by using cash from taxes, which the low paid have probably paid, so if you are low paid and receive tax credits money is taken from you via taxes and put through the bureaucratic magic box, costing millions a year to administer, only for you to get it back by the wonder of tax credits.

I have a problem with tax credits. To be honest, I have more than one problem.

It's a yoke around the necks of the low paid. There is no incentive for people to 'better' themselves, to study and work hard. Why should they? The state will provide. Rather than look for a better paid job people will stagnate in the tedium they are currently in, poor wages are topped up in accordance with how many times you have impregnated your partner/how many sprogs you have dropped.

Employers don't give extra wages to those who have more children. Why should the state, (ie the taxpayer)?

On a more personal level, the reason I am incredibly pissed off with the whole shambles at the minute is that tax credits encourage the 'working idle'.

In the midst of the busy holiday season at work, one of my main guys is off sick with a broken leg. Thus, we are short staffed. I am allowed to 'cover' his hours, (shock!), but I am struggling to do this.

"But why"? I hear you ask. "Surely others would be glad of the extra hours".

Well. a few are. Unfortunately, most of them are on holiday. Those that are willing are covering as much as they can. Jolly good stuff.

But...

The 'hard core' group of part timers will simply not do any extra hours. As I've mentioned before, the 'hard core' consist of the same type of person. They are male. They are married or live with a partner. They have children. They receive tax credits.

The state will pay them anyway, so why work any extra? One part of me can't blame them really. After all, they are only human. I would be tempted. The other part of me feels like screaming at them. Where is their dignity and self respect? Generations of men and women have worked their fingers to the bone to provide for their families, but they draw the line at sixteen or twenty hours a week.

The group of 'hard core' part timers also enjoy set shifts, (protected by employment law), which is another bug bear.

I'm sure the same scenario is repeated up and down the land. It would be interesting to see figures, if any existed.

Harriet the man hater....

Tip of the manky bandage to Dazed and Confused.

At last, a proper prison in the UK!

Outrageous, no TV, no playstation and no privacy...

Wow, I can hardly believe it. It seems that the 'powers that be' have stumbled upon the correct idea of how to run a prison. To be fair, they only discovered it by accident.

Perhaps the poor little lambs now appreciate how the victims of their crimes are feeling now.

But fear not, Oooooman Rites Brigade, Dame Anne is on the case. No doubt she arrived with a van from Currys filled with playstation and televisions.

Broon - Flower of Scotland

Tip of the manky bandage to Dazed and Confused

Gorgon the volunteer

"I volunteer to pilot the economy into a huge mountain"

According to Pravda the Prime Mentalist is to do 'voluntary work' for a week during his month long summer holiday.

I would be interested in any suggestions you may have for his week...

Stop living, you're destroying the earth!

'What's all that blue stuff?'

We've all heard of our 'carbon footprint', global warming, rising sea levels etc etc. Stuff that gives the righteous tree huggers nightmares and gummints the world over another reason to tax us all.

Personally I don't subscribe to this nonsense. And I don't care if the 'lesser spotted urchin' or whatever is under threat due to 'man made' (or, to keep the equality nazis happy, 'human made') global warming.

But now we have another reason to feel guilty, another measure of how we are destroying our planet.

Ladies/Gentlemen and members of the Labour Party, I am proud to present to you the 'WATER FOOTPRINT'.

You can visit the site to instill a sense of shame and guilt upon yourself for having the goddamn cheek to be living a life. See how much of this precious resource you are consuming and the devastating affect on the equilibrium of the rock we are clinging on to as it hurtles through the vacuum of space.

Now, I am no scientist. I'm not particularly an 'expert' on any subject although I am quite good at sitting on my arse and watching TV. I'm sure if there was a University course dedicated to sitting on your arse I could quite possibly be a lecturer. But, water doesn't disappear. Does it? My understanding is that it just goes to another place within the earth. Ice, clouds, oceans, within plants and animals etc. So, we are using more and more water. Big deal, it's still here. In Scotland, it's here all the bloody time. It's always raining!

I wonder what the next guilt trip will be. Stop eating beans because farting harms the ozone layer?

Idiots.

Update - I've left the bath tap running. The cold tap of course, the hot one costs me money!

Update 2 - I just remembered that in the supermarket they are selling refills for instant coffee. You refill the jar, (recyclable), with coffee from a pack which is not recyclable! Go figure...

Viz top tips, an occasional series...

BURGLARS: When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at 90 degrees, wrapped in a baby mattress in case they set one of their dogs on you.

David Cameron, supermarket manager...

'Every little helps.....'

David Cameron, the Tory party puppet, sorry, leader has announced that he will run Britain like it was a branch of Tesco.

I suppose it's a bit better than Gorgon the Prime Mentalist running the country like a giant Woolworths.

Looks like the boy David has been told to speak to us plebs in language we can understand. Perhaps using the Tesco analogy is a bit unwise considering their bully boy tactics and unquenching thirst for national and international domination.

Every little helps....

Viz top tips, an occasional series...

MOTORISTS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

July Rab Stats.

For those of you that may be interested, here are my blog stats for last month. I have nothing to compare it to as I only started keeping stats from the 1st July, I only had a simple hit counter before that.

Page loads - 9901
Unique visitors - 6570
First time visitors - 3902
Returning visitors - 2668

A huge big thank you to my readers, commenters and fellow bloggers.

It's a bit of a cliche to say, but I only started this thing for me. Any thing else is a bonus and it's really good to see so many comments on my drivel. Perhaps I have struck a chord, I dunno.

It's great being a blogger, it helps to get your thoughts and anger down in words. As a bonus, it seems to helped my masturbation habit as I am now down the the gummint recommended '5 a day'...

So, if you're thinking about starting your own blog, do it!

'Secret' Labour council tax plan

'I had to get the council tax bill reduced somehow...'

Apparently 'officials' have secretly assessed millions of homes for desirable features such as off street parking and nice views. This information will be used to re-calculate council tax bills AFTER the General Election.

So, you work hard and buy a house. You spend a bit off cash and lay a patio, put in a driveway and you have a nice view of the hills or whatever. Fuck you, kerching!

So, your surroundings determine the council tax you pay. Good news for me I suppose, it must mean that I am due for a rebate...

What's next, the re-introduction of the window tax?

'Farmer has scythe' shock

'Excuse me officer, could you direct me to the 17th century?'

I know this news is a couple of days old, but I've been a bit busy with work and other stuff!

It seems Tony Martin was found with a scythe in his car. He was stopped for not wearing his seatbelt when police 'found' the scythe. The question I am asking myself is where was the scythe? Was it lying in full view on the back seat or was it in the boot of the car?

If you have been pulled over for not wearing your seatbelt, then you should be dealt with only for not wearing your seatbelt. It shouldn't be used as an excuse to search your car for the sake of it.

And anyway, he's a farmer! Who has a scythe! What will the charge be, intent to farm in the wrong century?

Interesting also is the BBC headline. Vigilante Farmer. Hardly a vigilante, I mean he hardly set off with a flaming torch and a gun on the hunt for the burglars. Yes, perhaps killing the burglar was a bit over the top, but branding him a vigilante is a nonsense.