Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Stop living, you're destroying the earth!

'What's all that blue stuff?'

We've all heard of our 'carbon footprint', global warming, rising sea levels etc etc. Stuff that gives the righteous tree huggers nightmares and gummints the world over another reason to tax us all.

Personally I don't subscribe to this nonsense. And I don't care if the 'lesser spotted urchin' or whatever is under threat due to 'man made' (or, to keep the equality nazis happy, 'human made') global warming.

But now we have another reason to feel guilty, another measure of how we are destroying our planet.

Ladies/Gentlemen and members of the Labour Party, I am proud to present to you the 'WATER FOOTPRINT'.

You can visit the site to instill a sense of shame and guilt upon yourself for having the goddamn cheek to be living a life. See how much of this precious resource you are consuming and the devastating affect on the equilibrium of the rock we are clinging on to as it hurtles through the vacuum of space.

Now, I am no scientist. I'm not particularly an 'expert' on any subject although I am quite good at sitting on my arse and watching TV. I'm sure if there was a University course dedicated to sitting on your arse I could quite possibly be a lecturer. But, water doesn't disappear. Does it? My understanding is that it just goes to another place within the earth. Ice, clouds, oceans, within plants and animals etc. So, we are using more and more water. Big deal, it's still here. In Scotland, it's here all the bloody time. It's always raining!

I wonder what the next guilt trip will be. Stop eating beans because farting harms the ozone layer?


Update - I've left the bath tap running. The cold tap of course, the hot one costs me money!

Update 2 - I just remembered that in the supermarket they are selling refills for instant coffee. You refill the jar, (recyclable), with coffee from a pack which is not recyclable! Go figure...


Captain Swing said...

According to the site it takes 140 litres of water to make a cup of coffee.Fuck me that must be one big cup.Its all a load of bollocks of course thought up by a load of dutch hippies that have indulged a bit too much in mind altering substances.

Dazed and Confused said...

The cold tap costs money with me as well. The bastards came and installed meters for everyone in the area, spouting their "save the planet" shit.

And guess what? - Your water bill goes through the fucking roof.

There again - It was for my own damned good of course, and to argue with the environmental Nazi's, is now tantamount to unspeakable treachery.

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

It's all a bloody con trick. Bastards.

Anonymous said...

When you buy a new house, the water company have a 'legal right' to insert a water metre. I ignored every single threat and was ready to go court over it - they backed down.

After reading comment from dazed, it was a good job.

Scaremongering wankers. No doubt, plenty of people are intimidated by them and robbed of good money.

Dazed and Confused said...

Cry Baby,

When the water company first installed my meter and sent me the initial monthly bill, I thought to myself..."Wow Iv clicked here, that's cheap". - but of course you must then multiply the bill by twelve.

Then it started to dawn on me that, water treatments, sewerage charges, etc,etc, aren't included in the monthly bill, and they come separately, in the form of annual outrages, So when I added up the totals of the different systems, my water bill had increased by almost 50%, for exactly the same service, and probably a similar amount of water used.

Angry Old Man said...

I see women use less water than men. That will be more ammunition for man hater Harriet Harman.

Dr Evadne said...

If as the ice caps are melting, which 'they' say they are, then there's going to be a hell of a lot more water around for us to use, surely? London is filling up with water and they can't pump it out of the Underground quick enough. At this minute I am looking at shed loads of water lashing against my window and ruining any chance I had of a BBQ.
The world's climate does change and has been doing so on a regular basis since ~4.6byr B.C. that's long before the invention of the plastic carrier bag, the combustion engine, the flushing lav, and Ed Millipede.

Rab, the tax payer stumps up cash for qualified scientists at the Met Office. What scientific methods did they use to predict the burnt sausage and burger summer? So don't worry about your lack of science qualifications. Those scientists who have stuck their necks out to say that the current climate change hysteria is 0.0005% man made, have been ignored and or ridiculed. They may just as well have stayed at home and watched the box instead of reading physics at university.
I'm off to recycle some bog roll.

Anonymous said...

Cheers! Lovely pint.

TheBigYin said...

I recycle my Second Hand Smoke, and does anyone thank me for doing this FOR FREE, do they fuck..the end of the world is nigh, yeah, fucking right it is.

The Big Dollop said...

Another differance between England and Scotland - we dont have Water meters.

our water is still in public ownership and not in the hands of private water companies.

Anonymous said...

Of course you're right, Rab. Water is the perfect example of constant recycling. What comes out of my bladder eventually makes its way into your kettle. Cheers!

Rab C. Nesbitt said...

I thought my coffee tasted a bit strange...

banned said...

608, my water footprint, how guilty is that ? How come it didn't ask for my ethnicity since being white would obviously make it bigger ?